Look–I know Ghost is bad. They make pretty bog-standard hard rock, performed by cosplay Satanists, with lyrics that only the edgiest of teenagers find subversive. I know all this. But god damn, can’t a girl have a little fun with some softcore metal and sing about human sacrifice like the good old days now and then? This shit is fun. It’s stupid, silly, overproduced, and an unbelievably fucking good time to listen to.
With that being said, Ghost fans are good for hate clicks, so here’s the official ranking of every Ghost album by someone who is into them against her better judgment.
Housekeeping note, I’ll be doing the deluxe editions of “Meliora” and “Infestissumam,” as those contain the “Popestar” and “If You Have Ghost” EPs.
Honorable Mention: Seven Inches of Satanic Panic (2019)
It would be remiss of me not to give a nod to the 2019 single that launched Ghost into the hearts of young people on TikTok everywhere. The A-Side of “Mary on a Cross,” a decidedly ’60s sounding double-entendre-fest, is their most-played song on Spotify, and you can tell why. Shit’s catchy and very accessible to fans who may be turned off by their songs that lean closer to metal than standard rock.
5. Infestissumam (2013)
“Infesstissumam” has the unfortunate honor of winning the “Ghost Album with the Most Tracks that Sound Like an Evil Carnival” award. This album is pretty long as it contains an EP in the deluxe version, and although it has one of their most viral hits with “Year Zero,” the rest falls pretty damn flat into a mess of samey-sounding spooky-scary, without the sick riffs to back it up.
Play it again: “Year Zero”
Skip it: “Idolatrine”
4. Opus Eponymous (2010)
Ghost’s debut album “Opus Eponymous” is a pretty great album overall. It’s quick, consistent, and brought them roaring into the spotlight when “Ritual” started getting banned from the radio in the southern US, which is strange. Usually people in the south are so tolerant and open to new ideas. Despite all that, some folks find this album to be lacking in production quality, and the songwriting is not quite as elaborate as later albums, which leads to many tracks blending together.
Play it again: “Ritual”
Skip it: “Death Knell”
3. Impera (2022)
On the other end of the spectrum entirely, we have Ghost’s 2022 chart crusher. It’s tough to deny that “Impera” is a bit over the top. It’s got a certain Black Parade quality to it that hits the nostalgic theater kid button, but at the end of the day, it’s a very large and dramatic album that sometimes leans towards the aforementioned overproduction. However, there are really some bonafide ’80s hair metal bangers on there, which balance out the insane Danny Elfman Haunted Hayride energy that a few of the lesser tracks bring.
Play it again: “Spillways”
Skip it: “Twenties”
2. Prequelle (2018)
“Prequelle” is probably Ghost’s most straightforward album. It’s big, it’s loud, it has some kooky instrumentation, and yet, there are very few weak spots that come to mind. The combination of fuzzy hard rock riffs, stacked vocal harmonies, and hooks so catchy they were probably made in a K-Pop lab works to make this album solid as a rock and extremely fun to sing along to in the car when your cooler friends aren’t around.
Play it again: “Rats,” “Faith”
Skip it: “Helvetesfonster”
1. Meliora
Man, this shit goes hard. You’ve got your retro ’70s hard rock fist-pumpers, your fake gospel ballads, some Scooby-Doo sounding shit, actual genuine metal, and of course, “Square Hammer.” There’s something for everyone on this record. “Meliora” has multiple songs with over 100 million plays on Spotify, and honestly, it deserves that honor. This is an endlessly replayable album, buffed up by the inclusion of the “Popestar” EP, that really reminds me of finding music like this as a teen and clinging to the CD for dear life. It fucking rips.
Play it again: “Square Hammer,” “Cirice,” “From the Pinnacle to the Pit”
Skip it: “I Believe”
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If Motion City Soundtrack albums were your extended family, then “Go” would be like your 4th or 5th cousin whose name you can never remember. Sure, they seem fine, but they’re definitely not as cool as your uncle that let you drink beer in the eighth grade. Maybe you’ll see them at a cookout every once in a while, but that’s about it. The problem with “Go” is that it’s just alright, which is absolutely terrible for a Motion City Soundtrack album. This record finds frontman and head songwriter, Justin Pierre, listless and shaky – qualities that usually bode well for an MCS release, but fall tragically flat here. It’s almost as if he doesn’t want to be talking to you at the family reunion either. Songs that seem like they have the potential to become classics just burn up like your less cool uncle’s hot dogs. The result is a rather inedible plate that will have you wishing someone brought more of Pierre’s excellent side dishes like Farewell Continental to the table.
Fresh off the heels of an unimpeachable three album streak, Pierre decided he was fed up with making totally perfect albums with respectable artwork. Serving as Motion City’s major label debut, “My Dinosaur Life” ironically takes the bite out of their previous works. Producer Mark Hoppus decides on this record to answer the question: “What if Justin sang karaoke on top of what appears to be AI generated backing tracks based on the prompt ‘pop-punk’?” with markedly lifeless results. Granted, this was an incredible feat as AI prompts hadn’t been invented yet. Perhaps Tom DeLonge gave Hoppus access to his secret government lab before the sessions started. We may never know. This album would be alarmingly respectable for a lesser band, but failed to bring the edge Motion City Soundtrack had come to be known for at the time. Also, seriously, what is going on with this album cover?
A good friend of ours once told us that this album was surprisingly great. We said “Alright, Phil. We’ll give it a shot” and then proceeded to do the opposite of that for years. We’d already been burned by “Go” so how were we supposed to know that “Panic Stations” was actually a pretty decent offering? This one was recorded mostly live at Pachyderm Studios, where Nirvana famously cut “In Utero.” Consequently, the album displays a rawness not heard since the band’s debut. If you listen closely, you can actually hear Pierre and company attempting to impress the ghostly specter of Kurt Cobain, though our in-house medium tells us that he hasn’t gotten around to listening to it yet. “Panic Stations” is by no means without fault, although it will definitely make you feel like you’re back in your twenties for just under forty minutes until your knee starts acting up again. Sorry, we can’t really help with that. Maybe try a brace.
If you’re listening to this at work, try not to yell “oh, fuuuuuuuck yeah” within the literal first ten seconds of opening track “Fell In Love Without You,” unless you happen to have a really good breakthrough on your current project. Chances are that your boss will have questions and “Jesse Johnson’s synth riff fucking rips on this one, bro” will not suffice as an answer to any of them. Like its predecessor, “Commit This to Memory,” “Even If Kills Me” continues to punch you in the head with hit after hit long after you’ve already crumpled to the floor. That is, of course, until it gets to its unfortunate Ben Folds impression, “The Conversation.” It’s a solid song but it makes us cry in the wrong way. Don’t worry; the album jumps right back into the hits melee after, but damn… Could you have not saved the slow one for the closer, Pierre?
“I Am the Movie” finds Pierre pulling every influence he can think of out of his gigantic fucking hair and hurling them at the band with the force of an MLB pitcher. If you were to throw Fugazi, Superchunk, Pavement, and a few of your other favorite indie darlings into a blender, press the resulting goo onto wax, and then play it at 45 rpm instead of 33, you would get close to the frantic sound that makes up this record. Lead single, “The Future Freaks Me Out,” is such an absolute banger that even to this day, acrophobic Pierre still makes sure he can hit those brutal falsetto notes for adoring fans nationwide. No doubt this one rips, but Motion City Soundtrack was merely slamming down the marble they would use to sculpt their forthcoming masterwork.
This album is so goddamn perfect that the band has gone on at least a hundred tours for it. Speaking of, if you know anyone with an extra ticket for the 19-and-a-half year anniversary show coming up this fall, we could use it! In no particular order, here is what is featured on this album; breakup songs, love songs, anxiety songs, depression songs, slow songs, fast songs, mid-tempo songs, songs with cool drum features, songs where Justin does that cool falsetto thing, plenty of stops where Jesse can do that neat little handstand thing on his keyboard, Patrick Stump guest vocals, Mark Hoppus guest vocals AND production – the list goes on longer than Pierre’s list of things that make him nervous. All of these elements, of course, are wrapped up elegantly under the continuous and, at times, blatant theme of Pierre overcoming addiction and other personal demons. In an era predominated by literal party-rock anthems, he was able to find a way to make his personal journey to sobriety sound punk as fuck while simultaneously resonating with thousands upon thousands of fans who get blackout drunk at every anniversary show for the album.
