SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Insufferable penny-pinching hipster Paul Sandor recently began the cost-cutting and dickhead-looking practice of rolling his own cigarettes, annoyed friends report. “Not…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local music snob Larson Cheek is extremely anxiety-ridden over the fact that nobody has taken anything from the box of free records…
BROOKLINE, Mass. — Local birdwatcher Gregory Luddy is reportedly so punk rock in her birding that the birds she’s into watching are ones you’ve probably…
MINNEAPOLIS — Music publication Pitchfork is at the center of what might be the next medical breakthrough for male health after the FDA approved the…
CHICAGO — Local young couple Brandon Brentwood and Jade Long discovered that Long’s grandmother is just trying way too hard after going through her vinyl…
Listen, we both know there’s a…distance between us. I’ve felt it, and I’m sure you have too. We’re growing further apart every moment and we…
REHOBOTH BEACH, Del. — A local woman’s conversation with friends was disrupted by a man who stormed across the bar to correct a statement she…
SIMI VALLEY, Calif. -— Punk sommelier and founder of Rotten Grape Vineyards, Terry “Tooth” Berkley recently shouted that the only good pairing is whippits and…
BOSTON — Local 39-year-old Tool fan Mark Gibson spent his entire shift last Wednesday angry at the fact that a genius of his magnitude was…
TWIN FALLS, Idaho — Local man Raymond Kieffer set a new personal record moments ago by wearing his beret for 90 seconds in public before…
Oh, so you love Vampire Weekend, yeah? You’re a big fan? Well, we’ll see about that. Real fans can name at least THREE artisanal cigarette…
BOSTON — Philosophy major Patrick Cartelli returned yesterday from three months studying abroad in London with several new mannerisms, including an insistence on spelling “poser”…
LOS ANGELES — Tech billionaire Elon Musk and legendary U2 frontman Bono announced today that, after years of testing and research, their team finally has…
Yeah, I hear what you’re saying about the awful car wreck you got into this morning. Whatever it was you were telling me about that,…
WASHINGTON — A new gastropub in the Bloomingdale neighborhood is “probably going to be named Hook & Barley or something stupid like that,” nearby residents…