Son, I remember what times were like when I was your age: the school crushes, the long, agonizing classes, the “locker room talk”…but maybe most…
SEQUIM, Wash. — Local audiophile and longtime smoker Dale McGovern preferred the crackling sound and imperfections of cigarettes to the glossy frequency of a vape,…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Troy Floor, lead singer of the band Surfside, was apparently really showing off that he knew all the words to his…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Self-professed 36-year-old “film connoisseur” Bobby Colina’s bad day was salvaged by an accidental Good Samaritan calling him a hipster, sources report. “To…
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — A group of audiophiles and cinephiles met this week to compete against each other for the title of worst -phile, confirmed sources…
SAN DIEGO — The in-studio banter left on the latest album by post-space-rock outfit Hadron Collision showed just how much range the group has in…
NEW YORK — Board members at New York University decided to do away with any attempt at holding up appearances and just allow students to…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local horror punk outfit Shattered Heirloom reportedly only writes songs about family trauma as they are influenced by indie entertainment company A24,…
WEBSTER, N.Y. — Leading music experts unanimously agreed that arguments between fans over which metal bands are considered to be part of which subgenres is…
DURHAM, NC — Researchers at Duke University recently discovered that playing Tool for your newborn will cause them to grow up thinking they’re smarter, deeper,…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Insufferable penny-pinching hipster Paul Sandor recently began the cost-cutting and dickhead-looking practice of rolling his own cigarettes, annoyed friends report. “Not…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local music snob Larson Cheek is extremely anxiety-ridden over the fact that nobody has taken anything from the box of free records…
BROOKLINE, Mass. — Local birdwatcher Gregory Luddy is reportedly so punk rock in her birding that the birds she’s into watching are ones you’ve probably…
MINNEAPOLIS — Music publication Pitchfork is at the center of what might be the next medical breakthrough for male health after the FDA approved the…
CHICAGO — Local young couple Brandon Brentwood and Jade Long discovered that Long’s grandmother is just trying way too hard after going through her vinyl…