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Studio Banter Left on Album Really Highlighting Band’s Insufferability in Whole New Way

SAN DIEGO — The in-studio banter left on the latest album by post-space-rock outfit Hadron Collision showed just how much range the group has in terms of being unbearable douche-heads, several sources shaking their heads in disbelief reported.

“I used to think this band was bad enough when they were just making 12-minute dirges of phaser abuse and the lead singer sounding like Todd Rundgren inhaled Shannon Hoon,” hate-listener Nadia Hockley said. “But then at the end of one of their pompous ‘suites,’ it’s just them goofing around and saying shit like ‘That’s gonna be a number one on the TikTok!’ in this fake-British accent. What the fuck is that? Before I thought they were just kinda up their own asses creatively but now I’m judging them as people and anyone who goes to bat for them.”

Hadron Collision frontman Gavin Crest explained the decision to keep the banter, including 30 seconds of obnoxious laughter leading into the following track’s arpeggiated guitar intro, on the final album.

“Our band has long had a reputation for being humorless and self-impressed. And while we do our best to present ourselves as if we’re some kind of artistic innovators by basically just taking Spacemen 3 songs and adding random melodic breakdowns, we wanted to show we’re not afraid to loosen up,” Crest said. “Me and [drummer] Adrian [Lucas] even do this thing during our shows where I say ‘On drums, Lars Ulrich!’ and he does the worst fill while yelling ‘Fuck Napster!’ It’s hilarious. If only our audiences agreed.”

Rock historian Harold Parker cited the history of bands furthering their mythos through retaining nuggets of recording goofiness on their finished works.

“While it’s debatable as to whether say, the coughing at the end of ‘In My Time of Dying’ or John Lennon saying ‘Sweet Loretta Fart’ at the beginning of ‘Get Back’ are necessary, they’re at least short and attached to songs that are actually good,” Parker said. “Whereas Hadron Collision used to be unintentionally hilarious at times because of how serious they took themselves, their attempts to be genuinely funny truly fill me with despair. And I’ve twice paid to see Ninja Sex Party live.”

At press time, Hadron Collision disappointed fans even further by announcing that their next album would include multiple tracks that were full-blown skits.