BOISE, Ida. — Roland Gelford, a member of the baby boomer generation, made sure to have his awful ringtone set to maximum volume on his…
Audiophiles and Cinephiles Compete for Title of Worst -phile
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — A group of audiophiles and cinephiles met this week to compete against each other for the title of worst -phile, confirmed sources…
Studio Banter Left on Album Really Highlighting Band’s Insufferability in Whole New Way
SAN DIEGO — The in-studio banter left on the latest album by post-space-rock outfit Hadron Collision showed just how much range the group has in…
It’s Friday night, baby. Time to rock that cholesterol with fast food and go hog-wild on LinkedIn. In a greasy sodium rush you ask yourself:…
We all know that the classic Parker Brothers board game Monopoly can bring out the worst in people. Friendships, relationships, and even familial bonds have…
Uh Oh: Snowman Who Just Came To Life a “Top Hat” Guy
ARMONK, N.Y. — An ordinary snowman who came to life through magic recently was revealed to be one of those insufferable “top hat guys” you…
Gas Pump TV Ruins Only Three Minutes Man Has To Himself
MILFORD, Conn. – Local man Gary Miller’s fleeting moment of peace away from his grueling, hellish, and tedious daily life was instantly destroyed by the…
“Always be prepared” is the motto of the Boy Scouts, I think. While recently camping I deluded myself that I was prepared for anything. Ready…
A Match Made in Hell: Hacky Sack Guy Dating Devil Sticks Guy
VENICE BEACH, Calif. — Local hacky sack guy from the boardwalk, Randy Gallaway, is officially now dating the devil sticks guy who usually hangs around…
Band Meeting Turns Into Four-Hour Lecture On Cable Management
DENVER — Members of local band Shady Hoops are grinding their teeth as their band meeting devolved into an unending lecture about proper cable management…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local sticker hook up Archie Sutherfield said he would love to talk to you about an incredible opportunity and deal that he…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local drummer Brendan Molina cannot believe how unbelievably rude his neighbors are being by constantly pounding on the walls of their shared…
Woman Using Venue Bathroom Makes Sure to Put Seat Down Before Hovering and Pissing All Over It
TACOMA, Wash. — Show regular Harmony Smith put the seat down in the bathroom of venue Plaid Pig before squatting and hovering above the toilet…
Woman Honestly Glad Man is Gatekeeping Nu-Metal
CHICAGO 一 Local woman and record collector Sara Yousefi feels extremely relieved and happy that a random man has decided to gatekeep nu-metal, groaning sources…
White Liberals Quietly Take Down Yard Sign For Tax Season
CAMP HILL, Penn. — Suburban couple George and Esme Albertson discretely removed their sweatshop-grade cardboard yard sign, which professed unwavering support for people of all…