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Fan Standing Alone in Darkened Venue Still Holding Out Hope for Second Encore

CHICAGO – A fan of punk band Crucified Vertebrae was recently spotted alone in a darkened venue forty minutes after the show officially ended, still hoping for another encore, according to sources who would like to go home already.

“I know the band’s coming back, I can feel it in my bones,” stated thirty-six-year-old Justin Banks while impatiently tapping his foot. “I’m not like those other so-called-fans who’ve already fucked off and are probably home by now. I’ve been following this band for years and know they once played a second encore fifteen years ago for some charity thing, and I have a feeling tonight will be one of those epic nights. Trust me, they’re coming back, it’s called showmanship. And when they do all those posers will be kicking themselves wishing they were still here. I should sit down for a bit, my legs are about to buckle.”

Security guard Curtis Thompson explained his frustration with Banks’ loitering.

“It’s not happening my man. Please just go home,” Thompson said while texting his wife he’d be delayed again. “The venue staff can’t leave until every last audience member vacates the building for safety reasons, and this clown ass still thinks the band is coming back after almost an hour? They’re probably already back at the Ramada by now, passed out. Next time I come around, this guy better be gone or we’re gonna have a problem. Do not test me.”

Music psychologist Evie Gopal described what goes through the minds of fans like this.

“It’s not unusual for concert-goers wanting to keep the party going,” Gopal explained. “A lot of fans live vicariously through music, so it makes sense some of them would rather lie to themselves and believe there will be a second encore than to accept the fact that it’s over and they have to get back to their mediocre lives. Especially for those over thirty who barely go out anymore who really need something, anything, to trick them into believing they’re still relevant and young. It’s really quite sad.”

At press time, venue staff were finally able to close up after Banks got a nasty leg cramp and was forced to call his parents to come pick him up.