Congratulations, you’re back at a family gathering and tolerating it as long as you can. Time for your mom to grab that karaoke mic, bust out the pinot grigio and hit the living room floor. With a hostage crowd of cousins and visiting siblings, she’s just happy to have “all her ducks” home. This wonderful woman is ready to cut a rug and sing along loudly to her favorite Fleetwood Mac songs. Only problem? She will absolutely fuck up every single lyric. Don’t even try correcting her, it’s not worth it. She’ll only make the argument far worse. Here are 20 songs you’ll be hearing interpreted in a new warped fashion, whether you want to or not. (Listen along with the playlist)
“Rhiannon”
“Rhiannon flies like a bat in the night,” your mom sings, and it’s off to a solid start. Impressively, she’s already stumbled on the very first line of this track from their self-titled 1975 release, also the first Fleetwood Mac album with Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. Retro dance instincts kick in as she does groovy “peace fingers” across her eyes. She invites you to join along, but you politely smile and wave, wondering how long this has to go on for.
“The Ledge”
You wonder why your mom throws on this oddity from their 1979 album ‘Tusk.’ For one thing, it’s way too fast. Nobody else can sing along. And furthermore, your mom begins playing spoons with the salad tongs. Wow, she’s actually really good. Has she been practicing? Your mom is an incredible spoon player. Sure, everyone contains multitudes, but this is a surprising wrinkle.
“The Chain”
Oh boy, she’s doing an ambitious one. You don’t know how many times she’s thrown 1977’s ‘Rumours’ on, it was like wallpaper in your house. In fact, it literally is – she’s framed the LP. You’re surprised how hard she’s stomping her heels, almost cutting into the wood. “And if you don’t see me now / You will never see me again / I can still hear them singing / You will never break my chain!” This is one where most of the words are half-mumbled until she gets to the chorus, which is still half-mumbled.
“I Loved Another Woman”
Your mom always talked about the band’s blues roots, specifically the “Peter Green” era. What helps as a crash course is throwing on Fleetwood Mac’s first album, 1968’s ‘Peter Green’s Fleetwood Mac.’ Uh-oh…. she’s using that blues voice again, the one that veers on problematic. You wave at her to stop, but she thinks it’s encouragement and only leans in.
“Everywhere”
Your mom loves the Christine McVie-penned smash hit, singing it to herself while driving or pouring herself another glass of red. “Do you hear them calling? / What’s your name? / Da-da-dabada-baba, don’t know what to say” she sings, once again completely messing up the lyrics until the very memorable chorus. This is also one where she closes her eyes and dances romantically, slightly dangerous and concerning since the Roomba is gliding around.
“Jewel Eyed Judy”
As your mom digs deep into Fleetwood Mac’s discography, you’re somewhat amazed at how bottomless her bench of knowledge is on this band. Pulled from their 1970 album Kiln House, she mumbles something about this being the last album to feature founding guitarist Jeremy Spencer. She can remember this fact, yet forgets your birthday. Thanks Mom!
“Dreams”
“Thunder only happens when it’s lightning! / Players only hate you when they’re dying!” your mom joyously sings. Bless her, it’s way past trying to correct her now or hand over a phone with lyrics. Still, this song is another undeniable banger, one she turns up so loud that the neighbors are forced to join the listening party. John McVie’s steady bass rumbles through the block. Somehow the neighbors don’t mind, this tune is so unavoidably catchy. During this song you try to slip your mom a glass of water for hangover avoidance, but she takes one sip and throws it back, complaining that “it’s just water.”
“I Know I’m Not Wrong”
Is there a title that encapsulates your mom better than this song? At this point she’s barely keeping up with the rhythm, now pretty tipsy and dancing with a terrified corgi. She’s slinging appetizers at relatives watching football and doing “finger guns” at new guests while half-singing along to this jaunty track. You want to stop her, but this evening will provide your extended family with gossip for decades to come, like nourishment in winter.
“Prove Your Love”
Founding namesake member Mick Fleetwood comes in with the drums on this groovy riff from 1974’s ‘Heroes Are Hard to Find.’ Your mom makes lingering eye contact with too many people at the party, almost a tacit message that family members don’t appreciate her. Uh-oh, she’s pointing and wants someone to sing along. Unfortunately nobody else in the family actually knows this one, but people politely smile and wait for her to target another corner of the room.
“Rollin’ Man”
And suddenly, the party is rolling to a deep cut from an album you haven’t listened to quite enough, 1968’s ‘Mr. Wonderful.’ This is such a shot of blues that you want to pack and move to Chicago. Also moving would help yourself live down this embarrassing moment, as your mother has now climbed the kitchen counter. Though you should probably get her down, she’s stepping in the deviled eggs.
“Red Rover”
The haunting repetitive chorus doesn’t lend itself to singalongs, but the fast strumming makes your mom want to dance on her tiptoes. She flies around the room, tugging at beards and pulling on ponytails. Why is she in such a buoyant mood? She is also the only person you know that stans Fleetwood Mac’s 2003 album ‘Say You Will,’ their last album of original music. Did someone spike her potato salad with LSD?
“Gypsy”
The angelic backing vocals and nostalgic lyrics get you every time. However much you dislike the cover of 1982’s ‘Mirage,’ you have to admit that your mom has generally solid taste in music – this tune is such an earworm. Also, this title aligns with her conservative political beliefs, since she “hates PC culture.” Whenever asked to use more updated language regarding the Roma people or stop using this word as an abbreviated verb, she just laughs and sings this. You imagine that her fondness for this song grows stronger each year because of the poorly-aging title.
“Like Crying”
You didn’t realize how much your mom enjoys the early Fleetwood Mac era as she selects this bluesy 1969 track from their album ‘Then Play On.’ After five straight glasses of pinot grigio, she actually begins crying, complaining that nobody appreciates her. Family members awkwardly shuffle into other rooms and you quickly change the song to hopefully get your mom stomp-clapping away in no time.
“Landslide”
Uh-oh, here come the waterworks. This song devastates your mom. You have to admit, it’s profoundly moving. And like all Fleetwood Mac songs, your mom will completely fuck this one up: “You took my love, yeah you took it down / you climbed a mountain but ya turned around / and I see my reflection in the something-something hills / But the landslide will bring me around!” She has a lit lighter in the air, waving it back and forth, the flame licking the curtain.
“For Your Love”
Alright, now it’s picking up pace again. Whoa, this track has bongos? Let’s roll. From the under-appreciated 1973 album ‘Mystery To Me,’ this tune gets your mom swinging her hair so hard that it gets caught in the chandelier. No matter – she continues raging on, crashing through a sliding door screen, knocking over condiments near the barbecue. Concerned family members ask you if your mom is feeling alright as she belts these lyrics, suddenly climbing an oak tree outside.
“Never Going Back Again”
Your mom sings this ballad as a taunt while you beg her to come down from the oak tree. People are beginning to stare. Instead, she strums an air guitar to this twangy joyous tune. The speakers are now turned off. She is singing acapella, still swapping in lyrics of her own invention. It veers on modern performance art.
“Save Me A Place”
As everyone is called inside for dinner, your mom climbs down, screaming this song. It’s a more mellow laidback tune that she somehow makes frenetic. She’s specifically talking about a “place” at the dinner table. Unfortunately, nobody wants to sit next to her since she smells like tree sap, cheap wine, and won’t stop fucking singing Fleetwood Mac.
“Dissatisfied”
OK, now your mom is just being rude. She uses this song to express dissatisfaction with the meatloaf, dissatisfaction with the green beans, just dissatisfaction all around. The 1973 album ‘Penguin’ that spawned this track suddenly comes on from a Bluetooth speaker that she snuck in. You’re honestly surprised that your mom knows how to use Bluetooth.
“Go Your Own Way”
You are shown the door and asked not to return until your mom calms down. She begins shouting the verses to this megahit. And of course she’s singing it completely wrong. “I will go my own way! (Go my own way) / You can call me on / Some other funky day!” she sings, jumping up and down in the street. It takes another twenty minutes to get her inside the car.
“Tusk”
Uh-oh. Your mom has entered a “Tusk”-hole. She’s replaying over and over what is arguably one of Fleetwood Mac’s most audacious releases. She’s even doing all of the side goblin chant voices. You drive on, trying to get her home safely. It’s cringe-worthy. It’s distracting. But it’s love – she is your mother, after all. Who else tucked you in while absolutely destroying Fleetwood Mac lyrics? You fondly reminisce and notice your mom replaying “Tusk” one more time – wait, where did she get that flask from?
What better way to celebrate the 22nd anniversary of Thursday’s iconic album “Full Collapse” than with a fully collapsible kitchen marvel? Yes, that’s right, this unique salad spinner not only pays homage to the band’s groundbreaking work but also brings a touch of musical history right into your kitchen. Just as “Full Collapse” broke barriers in the music world, this salad spinner breaks the mold in kitchen gadgetry with its space-saving design and sleek look.
Dangerous curves ahead! If there’s one thing we know about every Maylene fan, it’s this: You have jumped your fair share of dirt bikes, and you sure as hell haven’t nailed every landing. But have no fear, because we’re here to give you a little lift. This sturdy-as-heck bike stand is exactly what you need for dirt bike repairs and adjustments so you can get back to mudding. We think that’s what you call it.
When you heard “Colors” for the first time, it changed your life. By the time “Colors II” came out, you’d heard all the songs you were ever going to hear, but you still pretended it changed your life again. Well, it’s time to make sure your kids can feel the same way about these progressive technical death avant-garde metalcore giants. With their very own coloring set!
Oh no, it’s not a ghost pepper. It’s Ghost’s pepper. This product might look scary, but just like the band, it is absolutely not. Seriously, it’s about as spicy as milk. These mild flavors are sure to please any palate, or at least any palate that shares the same taste as someone who would listen to Ghost.
If only we could somehow make use of those parallelograms of light that dance along the walls of your empty guest room. Well, forget that empty feeling and fill that space with this one-of-a-kind sundial! With lyrics adorning the face, it serves not just as a functional piece for that spare room you probably have in your house but also as a conversation starter. It’s perfect for fans who value both the practical aspects of timekeeping and the artistic expression of a modern away message.
Uh oh, worried your kids will really fuck up the walls with that crayon set? Sure, they’re a little too young to start on Between the Buried and Me. Maybe you need something for a younger age? Well, kids will love Underoath and their “Writing on the Walls” erasable markers! Hand that boy one and watch as he brushes your living room in black and white. No worries, just wash it away when he’s done.
Have you ever found yourself hanging out in a seedy bar in New Orleans, deep into the night, only to be forced to drunkenly stumble home in the darkness? You realize you need some protection, but your more sensible friends have already called it a night. What you need is a more loyal companion. You know what we’re talking about. That’s right: a crow! Better yet, a Crowbar-branded Bar Crow, to keep you safe as you recklessly wander through sludge-filled alleyways, searching for home.
Is your heart in Ohio? Well, then let some local boys show you around with this ultimate travel guide. Discover every attraction and hot spot that Ohio has to offer. And don’t worry: it’s not just for lovers. They’ll even help you find your favorite singles bars, because obviously, you’re getting over some heartbreak.
His name may be Munky, but the man loves nothing more than birds. As you can imagine, it won’t be a tough sell to get the rest of the band on board. Not with an idea this good: Korn brand bird leashes and harnesses! For the cockatoo lover in your life, give them the gift that sets them free. Or at least give them the freedom to take their bird for a walk every once in a while. Finally, you’ll feel like you do have some release!
Okay, so maybe even those Underoath markers were still too much. Well, how else are you supposed to show the world you have a little punk-to-come on your hands? You already bought that kid a Black Flag onesie. I guess your only other option is to get them some sort of branded toy that will let everyone know that your child is merely an extension of you and your tastes. God forbid someone thinks this kid might grow up to be a Foo Fighters fan.
We’ve always wanted an amp that makes our guitar sound exactly like the monstrous hum of ‘Life Metal,’ but after some research, we realized there’d be significant challenges in releasing an amplifier with the Sunn O))) logo on it. There’s like a whole story there or something. So anyway, these are just decorative boxes. That might have speakers in them. It’s not entirely clear if they can officially state that or not.
Actually, the earth is starting to feel like a colder and deader place. But it sure doesn’t feel that way when you’re soaking up some sweet post-rock and watching a heartwarming episode of Friday Night Lights. Coach! Coach, help! It’s not snuggly enough in here! Fear not, as this band-inspired heated blanket will solve that as you waste the rest of your evening with Tim Riggins.
We have to be honest upfront. We haven’t really listened to Job for a Cowboy; we just heard about them, and they seemed like a nice country band. And like any good country boy, you must know: you just can’t trust mainstream horse treats these days. Equestrian enthusiasts understand that not all horses can stomach the gluten found in the average grocery store horse snack. Well, all your problems are solved with these good-for-you horse treats! Now, your only challenge is thinking of a cooler horse name than “Job for a Cowboy.”
We know. You’re going to lose it if you have to stare at that stupid “gather” decal adorning the walls of your kitchen one more time. And why does your partner always pick signs in that overused wedding invite font? There’s only one answer: an act of rebellion. Like proudly displaying the band name of your favorite Willimantic legends! This isn’t just a statement piece; it’s a nod to your edgy, musical defiance. It’s about time your kitchen reflected the real you. And it also kind of just works with everything else in the room.
Wow, your kid couldn’t handle the sorting cube? I guess you’re shit out of luck. Okay, one more idea. Just ink your kid. Temporarily at least. Give them a flat-brim hat and a throat tattoo to show your friends that you are deathcore through and through. Or at least you used to be. Now you’re just kind of listening to electronic rock in a deathcore outfit? Sheesh, maybe this was a mistake.
Opening their debut LP “Listening Game” with various sounds and dialogue from the classic horror series “Sesame Street” via its title track showcased a youthful exuberant energy right from the start, as Far introduced themselves to and joined the musical floodgates with twelve post-hardcore tracks that truly foreshadowed their eventual major sonic influence. Well, you have to start somewhere, and the band truly did with this one. In addition, 1992 was an incredible year for the world of rock with sterling monumental records from Faith No More (“Angel Dust”), Alice In Chains (“Dirt”), R.E.M. (“Automatic for the People”), and TLC (“Oooooooh… On the TLC Tip”). Coming out via Rusty Nail Records, “Listening Game” is a fun start, but thankfully the band “grew up” on its next four and progressed as songwriters and musicians.
Opening/title track “Quick” truly sounds like Quicksand covering Soundgarden’s “Bleach” in the best way, and the song itself gets its aggressive and catchy point across in a quick two-minutes-and-thirty-eight seconds that exhaust you whilst keeping you wanting more and more. While the production on this particular track leaves a little something to be desired, “Quick” as a song is quite endearing, and as a record front-to-back has less filler than its predecessor, but not by much. The original version of “Girl,” which eventually got re-recorded on their major label debut was the band’s best song at the time, and is captured quite well here. If you identify as such, you will be the man o’ the year if you stream this album straight through with an open mind and wallet, sister.
“At Night We Live,” Far’s lone non-’90s full-length LP, served as a one-off comeback after the band initially split in 1999. It is definitely the first of which to be mentioned here that is consistent front to back, and the aforementioned cover of “Pony” isn’t even the best song by a longshot, as its first song “Deafening” is one of the better post-hardcore opening tracks, and “If You Cared Enough” is an amazing subsequent song. The record also served as a memorial to Sacramento peers’ Deftones’ late bassist Chi Cheng, who sadly left this earth way too soon after an automobile accident, and Far’s love for him and his bandmates burn forever and ever bright as they fight through 16,233,241 tears. Sadly the band split up again once more the year that “At Night We Live” came out and it looks like the original lineup will never reform.
Far’s third full-length studio LP “Tin Cans with Strings to You” came out just a few years too early. We here firmly believe that if both of these records were released in the early-00s Far would have had an overabundance of sales and streams in the lexicon, and even more than five albums by now, but unfortunately that’s not how the cookies crumbled in the sea, circus, aisle, and cum dump known as the music industry. Still, the riffs, emotion, personality, and raw power of “Tin Cans with Strings to You” stood out in the mid-’90s, and will still impress heads today, especially since its competition is an AI song in C minor with lyrics that a third grader with remedial skills would scoff at. Sweat a river, live no lies.
This gold medal slot may be extremely predictable to you, but sometimes cliches like The Beatles being good and pizza tasting great are such for a reason. We didn’t have a choice about how we handled this here, and we’re actually surprisingly relieved about that. Far’s fourth LP, is a top-five post-hardcore record ever sans hyperbole, and one of the more underrated rock gems of the 1990s, a decade with the best blend of rock and roll outside of the 1960s. Shoutouts are in order for Jonah Matranga, Shaun Lopez, John Gutenburger, and Chris Robyn. No shoutouts are deserved for the rock community that chose more sub-par groups to embrace. Maybe there was another way out for the band, but sadly their small white world was closing down.