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Trauma Dump? This Judge Keeps Complaining About All the Shit I Allegedly Did

If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that life is precious and we need to protect our mental health at all costs. People barely have enough time to deal with their own issues, let alone have the bandwidth to sit through someone else’s bitch session. Like this judge here, who’s been blabbering about his work problems and how my presence in this courtroom has made a “mockery of the judicial system.” Tell it to a therapist, dude.

I’m sure the jury would love nothing more than to call it a day and head home for the weekend, but instead, they have to sit through more of this judge’s lectures about my conduct and the additional laws I’ve allegedly broken while representing myself. I’m so tired of his bullying that I’m seriously thinking about requesting a mistrial, as soon as they loosen these restraints and take this stupid spitguard out of my mouth.

If anyone deserved to be tased by that large bailiff it’s this clown in the black robe, not me. You know what’s worse than having a defendant pretend to call a sidebar just to take a swipe at the judge? Having to listen to him whine about how I’m a “danger to society” and deserve to be “locked up like a dog.” Relax Drama Whore, my bite barely broke your skin, so I’m pretty sure the Hep C test will come back negative.

Whether you’re forced to listen to a colleague vent about their job, or you’re stuck listening to a friend endlessly complain about their love life, it’s important to put up a wall and protect yourself from those negative vibes. That’s why I’ve decided enough is enough and I’ve been screaming at the top of my lungs to drown out this energy vampire with a gavel who just won’t shut up about me and my behavior. Like, obsessed much?

At the end of the day, our biggest commitment should be to ourselves, and not to people who see us as nothing more than opportunities to dump their bullshit onto. It’s important to stand up for yourself and clearly set boundaries otherwise you’ll never be free. Which is what I’m planning on doing with the help of this shiv, as soon as I can wiggle out of these zip ties and flush the pepper spray from my eyes.