CHICAGO — Local small-batch chocolate maker Wayne Barnes, concerned that Detroit will complete an economic recovery before he can relocate there, launched a fundraising effort…
REDMOND, Wash. — Samsung Galaxy S9 owner Keith Anderson was added to what was previously an iMessage group chat last night. According to close sources,…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — A Tinder date at O’Donnelley’s Pub Tuesday evening was reportedly almost too short for a local man to describe every variety of…
CLAIM: William “Willy” McGuinness, frontman for Celtic Punk band The Warm Pints, is “psyched” to be performing at a local bar in the town of…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local pay-what-you-want food cooperative All Will Be Well will close its doors at the end of the week, due to the oppressive…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Local political activist Bridget Wakefield has been working tirelessly within her community to raise public awareness about the little-known fact that…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Google announced a new navigation mode for its popular Google Maps smartphone app yesterday, offering simulated dad-based directions that will consist…
Listen up! As a white man, I can stay silent no longer. Whatever the most oppressed person in any given room thinks, I am here…
GREENSBORO, N.C. — An aging drum kit living with local parents Barbara and Sam Willett has no imminent plans to leave, despite staying in their…
KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo Co. announced the release of Nintendo Switch Online today, along with the announcement that it has completely sold out of the…
LOS ANGELES — Perpetually unemployed boyfriend Liam Womack announced yesterday that he will cease failing to author novels to pursue procrastinating on writing screenplays, apprehensive…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local grandfather Peter Cruz received a lesson in do-it-yourself ethics last night from his grandson, who explained basic DIY principles while inside…
So, you’re driving your crew to the movies and you put on that new song. The one you’ve been listening to all week. The one…
Cracker. Honky. Whitey. Redneck. These are among the many terms that aren’t racist because it’s impossible to be racist to white people. Racism is a…
$167 Concert Ticket Comes With Free Commentary From Guy Behind You
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — A special, VIP ticket package to attend Ozzy Osbourne: No More Tours 2 includes running commentary from the guy in the row…