IRVINE, Calif. — Taco Bell’s revamped artificial intelligence drive-thru has reportedly been making the human fingers commonly found in their burritos look unrealistic and perverse,…
Remember The Spongmonkeys? Sure you do, they were those two fucked up-looking hamster things that convinced the world that toasting a sandwich was enough to…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Local retiree Mitch Danfork was seen standing directly in front of a pickup counter and observing his meal’s preparation with the…
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
LOS ANGELES — A late-night quest for the munchies turned tragic after a violent Doritos Locosplosion ripped through a Taco Bell causing nine dudes to…
If you’re reading this, it’s too late. Wingstop forgot to put ranch in the bag. The only part of your meal that mattered. Obviously the…
Since 2007, the Baconator has been a universal staple on Wendy’s menus around the world. More recently, in late 2023, the brilliant minds in the…
It’s Friday night, baby. Time to rock that cholesterol with fast food and go hog-wild on LinkedIn. In a greasy sodium rush you ask yourself:…
RICHMOND, Va. — House party attendee Davey Singleton can’t quite put his finger on why the two Wendy’s Baconators and seven beers he consumed in…
No one can deny that McDonald’s is one of the most successful, recognizable, and beloved businesses in American history. We can all agree that the…
WHEELING, W. VA — Aging punk roommate Dennis “Onion” Wilkins ritualistically bequeathed the key that allows them to steal toilet paper from Wendy’s to his…
DENVER — Local man and vegan of two months Gabe Rumsey voiced his delight over the abundance of tasteless, processed plant-based options being unveiled at…
SEATTLE — Local man James Tebuto is losing confidence in himself halfway through what he’s realizing is an overwhelming order at Taco Bell, according to…
When my Uber driver arrived at my home without the drink that I ordered to go with my meal, the drink I PAID for and…
DENVER — Recently vaccinated McDonald’s line cook Lydia Dupree was relieved to be able to safely add layers of shimmering spittle to a fucker of…
TORONTO — A recent trip to an out-of-town Subway made you realize how much better managed it is than the Subway you normally eat at…