SEATTLE — French-Canadian experimental rock duo Angine de Poitrine scrambled to find replacements for their specialized instruments after their van was broken into, sources confirm.
“The tour was going wonderfully, but then some jerk stole our stuff,” said guitarist Khn de Poitrine via a translator. “We were in a cafe enjoying coffee and croissants—which takes considerable time due to our cumbersome masks, which we never remove—and we came outside to find our van ransacked and much of our equipment missing. When we arrived at the venue, I asked our opener if I could borrow one of their double-necked microtonal guitar/basses but they claimed they didn’t have one. Luckily, I was able to improvise a solution.”
Opening band Dry Thigh said they did their best to help out the pair.
“It was a little hard to understand them due to the language barrier and their voices being muffled by the masks,” said guitarist Jennifer Maxwell. “But we gathered they wanted to borrow an instrument from us. After a while they walked off with one of our guitars. I was happy to help them out—until I saw them sawing slits in the neck so they could install extra frets. They had also duct-taped a bass to the guitar. I tried to wrestle the instruments back from them but I kept getting hit in the face with their giant swinging dick noses, so I gave up. That being said, they put on a good show.”
Veteran guitar tech Henry Quint always advises bands he’s working with to tour with backup gear.
“Ordinarily, borrowing a guitar from another band on the bill is no big deal,” said Quint while winding cables in the proper way. “I once loaned a guitar to Evan Dando after he traded his for some dope right before a show. But if you’ve got customized gear, it’s going to be harder to borrow a replacement. One time I was doing tech for a band that opened for Rammstein. Apparently, the airline lost their guitar/flamethrower thing, so they asked if they could borrow one of ours. I had to explain that none of our guitars shoot 30-foot geysers of fire.”
At press time, a local petty criminal had reportedly attempted to pawn Angine de Poitrine’s iconic double-necked instrument, as well as a set of black-and-white polka-dotted monogrammed luggage.
