Press "Enter" to skip to content

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19) Cool it, Aries. Just because you watched Childish Gambino’s “This Is America” once doesn’t mean anyone gives a shit about the…

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21 – April 19) Feel free to take a mental health break today, Aries: you need it after all the mind games you’ve…

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19) Your temper will be your downfall this week, Aries. Pick your battles. Your Marxist memes on Facebook are concerning your family,…

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19) You’ve been juggling your career, romance, and creative interests for the past year, Aries… and, hey: maybe it’s time to say…

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19) Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Aries. Nobody cares that Josh ate your leftover take out. It was moldy, and he puked…

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19) Tensions are high near the 15th this month — especially around your home and family life. Tell your mom to fucking…

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19) Use that Fire sign energy to call out anyone and everyone this week, Aries. It doesn’t have to make sense, or…

Your Weekly Hardcoroscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19) While it is true that the stars don’t know everything, they do know that you are, without a doubt, wearing a…