BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Members of legendary New York Hardcore bands Malicious Destruction, Malfeasance, and Genghis debuted music from their new “supergroup” called Sealegs, confirmed multiple…
GREENVILLE, Del. — Top doctors from all over Israel travelled to the United States to prepare a course of action to treat former President Biden’s…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local man Mick Lovell attempted to weave the phrase “late-stage capitalism” into casual conversation, hoping it would make his friends respect his…
CHATSWORTH, Calif. — Lucky Luke’s Powersports, Southern California’s number one motorcycle dealership, announced a new package that includes huge savings on a casket with each…
NEW YORK — Local man Peter Spearman was shocked when he discovered the frontman of his all-time favorite band Chaos Dissidents was doing low level…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A recent Harvard report on the overall health of Americans showed that the residual moisture left behind by lettuce and tomatoes after…
DALLAS — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control raised warning flags about a new strain of Hulkamania found in livestock that, if left untreated,…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local rap-rock band Antagonyze released their latest single “Cop Kisser” which they say should act as a blueprint on how to appreciate…
MAGA Influencer Volunteers to Spend Two Months In El Salvadoran Mega-Prison to Prove It’s Not So Bad
MAGA Influencer Volunteers to Spend Two Months In El Salvadoran Mega-Prison to Prove It’s Not So Bad
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Popular conservative influencer Jake Fowler intends to “own the libs” by spending two months in a notorious El Salvadoran prison to prove…
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced a new program to help boost ICE enlistment numbers by promising to forgive any debt incurred by delinquent child support…
WASHINGTON — Local sex worker Jasmine Lawler is facing years behind bars after being labeled a domestic terrorist because she burst out in hysterical laughter…
SAN DIEGO — Members of the indie rock group Pinback celebrated after their song “Penelope” was once again named the “Best Song About Goldfish Ownership”…
SAN FRANCISCO — Developers behind the encrypted messaging app Signal updated their terms of service to forbid users from organizing and executing targeted military strikes,…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Your former high school bully, and current Washington State Trooper Adam Wisk, surprised veteran members of the scene by insisting he knows…
WASHINGTON — Members of the House of Representatives passed an increasingly rare bi-partisan bill that will set aside money to train struggling farmers in the…