Nick Brandt
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April 18, 2026
AUSTIN, Texas — Tesla Inc. is reportedly manufacturing their vehicles to drive intentionally in motorists’ field-of-view blind spots, confirmed frustrated…
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S.L. Neechski
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March 16, 2026
AUSTIN, Texas — Tesla CEO and impossibly moronic manchild Elon Musk announced this week that Tesla will begin locking the…
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Ben Friedman
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August 18, 2025
LOS ANGELES — Emergency crews were dispatched to the newly opened Tesla Diner after six patrons were left with life-threatening…
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Stephen Bell
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July 2, 2025
BOCA CHICA, Texas – The world’s richest man, Elon Musk, says that he will be creating a new political party…
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SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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Ben Friedman
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May 16, 2025
Have you ever witnessed a stranger struggling and ignored them because it wasn't your business? Whether it's because of selfishness…
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Matt Husser
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May 3, 2025
BOSTON — Mark Wahlberg sparked controversy after claiming that Elon Musk's botched penis implant “wouldn't have gone down like that”…
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Stephen Bell
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April 30, 2025
Like any aspiring anarchist, I want to do what I can to burn this entire rotten system to the ground…
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Doug Kolic
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April 28, 2025
MODESTO, Calif. — A local arsonist who torched a brand new Cybertruck as it sat on the lot of a…
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Ryan Sims
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April 7, 2025
ARLINGTON, Texas — Vice President JD Vance was spotted sign twirling outside of a Tesla dealership today, attempting to convince…
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