Hello there, fellow citizens of the FUTURE. That’s what it must be: the future, at least according to Elon Musk, because the flying car is now a REALITY, according to Elon Musk. You may have seen the viral video of the Tesla Roadster’s debut and thought to yourself, “I guess if I saw that at a Monster Truck show I would think it was kind of cool,” but rest assured we are all basically The Jetsons now, according to Elon Musk.
The whole “flying car” thing has been hot take central, with many critics casting doubt as to whether or not the Roadster deserves the moniker “flying car,” whether it would even work as advertised or, if it does work, what, if any, practical application a leap-frog car would have in the real world. Here’s my hot take: Any person who believes they should trust their life to a Tesla “flying car” should absolutely go and do that!
That’s it. That’s all I’m saying.
What’s the twist? What’s my angle? Hey, don’t overthink it! I’m just saying that if all the people who believe Elon Musk is anything more than the world’s richest racist salesman, who have enough faith in Elon Musk’s competence to drive a car Elon Musk is selling that can jump way high in the air and spin around all crazy, went ahead and did that, the world would be a much, much better place in 2-3 weeks tops.
Look, I know we live in an increasingly divided world, but this one is win-win! The rest of us “cucks” and “gigachads,” or whatever the hell you people call us, will be down here, earthbound, repairing our fractured democracy with significantly less resistance, and you’ll be, uhm, well, wherever it is that Tesla flying car passengers go! It’s a philosophical question, really, and none of my concern; the point is, everyone still alive will be happy!
Okay, I can feel some of you trying to read between the lines here, and I assure you, there is nothing to read. Simply put, if you think Tesla’s flying car is cool, I want you up in one as soon as humanly possible. I am on your side! Figuratively. Physically, I will be nowhere near you, but Godspeed, you magnificent bastards!
