TEMPE, Ariz. – Seven punks have been hospitalized for heat exhaustion and severe dehydration after they refused to remove their leather jackets during a performance…
PHILADELPHIA – Hulk Hogan and The Wrestling Boot Band have been dropped from the This Is Hardcore 2015 lineup after Hulk Hogan was recorded making…
NEW YORK — “Big” Timmy Langston, 31, paces back and forth on stage, his large biceps — exposed to the stage’s red-hot lighting equipment due…
NEW LAS VEGAS, Nev. – Local punk Donnie Taylor avoided public humiliation by programming the GPS of his parents’ self-navigating transportation pod to drop him…
LOS ANGELES — Trevor Harris, 59, stands in his cramped garage, surrounded by a massive horde of bent, cracked, and completely warped records that are clearly…
Dog Pile is the weekly comic created by Justin Melkmann of New York punk band World War IX. Check back next Sunday for more!
Crust punks communicate non-verbally in a way that is difficult for “sheeple” to comprehend, so we asked Dr. Malcolm Henderson and his team at the University…
Most people think that crust punks are dangerous creatures. Their abrasive looks often come across as threatening to people. Truth is they are rather passive…
Burlington, VT – Megacrustaladon: A prehistoric ancestor to the modern Crust Punk was, in it’s time, the apex predator of the pit. A creature whose…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local crust punk Brad Garnett has taken his vegan activism to the next level, adopting a 100 percent vegan, plant-based dog. The…
Like all living things, crust punks can be classified into many different subspecies. Here are some of the most common crusties found in nature. Illustrations…
We asked six esteemed sea captains to talk to us about their first encounters with crust punks. WARNING: these stories are not for those who are…
AUSTIN, Texas – Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin have made a startling discovery. Though controversial, anthropologists have determined that crust punks may…
DENVER – Unemployed internet commenter, Shane Clifford, 33, feels that despite the fact he has no money, access to venues, or contacts in the music…
PHOENIX, Ariz. – Joel Simmons, 24, is certain the only way to turn his lackluster love life around is to grab the attention of women…