Weddings are a beautiful $50,000 celebration of love. If you’re fortunate enough, you get to spend one of the best days of your life with…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead Dirk Felton proposed to his girlfriend Jade Oliver at the beginning of “I Cum Blood” during a recent Cannibal Corpse show,…
Weddings are a celebration of love. To many, ska is the antithesis of that. Sure, those people are weird, but you must factor in other…
You and your ex amicably broke up in the summer of 2005 and vowed to remain lifelong friends. Astoundingly enough, you both meant it and…
Unless it’s your wedding, most receptions suck worse than running out of vegan protein powder on leg day. Sure, a wedding reception presents endless opportunities…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Michelle Reynolds was horrified to find her recent engagement announcement completely overshadowed by her friend Taylor Swift intentionally releasing an album on…
PITTSBURGH – Aging metalhead Derek Vance made the mistake of trying to slip into his wedding battle vest to celebrate his 25 year anniversary with…
Samantha and I got married at my father-in-law’s country club. Not our scene, but our friends and families had a great time. Until suddenly, someone…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local groom and longtime guitarist Parker Anderson gazed longingly at the wedding band guitarist’s illustrious pedal board during the first dance with his…
The Star Trek franchise mostly takes place centuries from now, when humanity has rid itself of its worst instincts, gotten its shit together, and passive-aggressively…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A local punk couple caused a stir this week when they sent out wedding invitations listing the event’s dress code as “court…
CHARLOTTE – Local newlyweds Sarah Jones and Doug Tayler were caught off guard towards the end of their wedding celebration when management from the event…
You’ve suffered through their bullshit your whole life. Now that you’re engaged, it’s time to get revenge on your family, friends, and loved ones. And…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Cecil Clarke admitted that the only contribution he made to his upcoming wedding is researching potential honeymoon locations by listening to…
LOS ANGELES — Local priest Father Charles Bovie recently pronounced newlywed social media influencers “wife guy and wife” during their wedding ceremony, doomscrolling sources confirmed. …