TOLLAND, Mass. — Local arms dealer Alex Corman made a reputation for himself by forcing his clients to hang out with him before they purchase…
“Breaking Bad,” along with “The Sopranos” and “The Wire” in the 2000s and early 2010s, defined the golden age of television, and while many have…
TWIN FALLS, Idaho — A local drug dealer’s 1,000th customer was lucky enough to win a free explanation of how the government “really” works, confirmed…
LOWELL, Mass. — Local addict Sam Agnew asked his coke hookup to keep his tab open after the drug dealer upgraded to a cashless system…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Employees at a local accounting firm are reportedly confounded by a recent hire who is simultaneously the worst co-worker they’ve ever had…
Girl Scout cookies have come a long way since my sister’s Brownie Troop used to set up a table outside the Pathmark. For several years,…
Christmas is supposedly the most wonderful time of the year. Yet it’s the most difficult to navigate without a little Christmas “tree” if you catch…
PORTLAND, Maine — Frugal punk, and self-described “hopeless romantic,” Tyler Castaneda recently devised a scheme to save money by dating the woman who sells him…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Southern woman and recreational drug user Darlene Abbot reportedly refers to every amphetamine or stimulant simply as “coke,” citing cultural norms and…
Are you someone who struggles to make connections with others? Do you continuously fail to initiate meaningful conversations, you boring, boring fuck? Are you looking…
Any true connoisseur of cannabis knows that it’s all about the right pairing. Just as you need the right wine for the right meal, different…
FORT COLLINS, Colo. — Health-conscious punk Stacey “Skaggs” Bellamy will no longer drive her rusted-out cargo van to purchase illicit substances, but will instead bike…