TAUNTON, Mass. — An overbooked Saturday matinee show at the Taunton American Legion featuring over a dozen unknown bands is being rebranded as “Weapons of War Fest,” confirmed promoters who made sure their band plays during the best slot of the day.
“We wanted to keep the show pretty small so we only had eight bands playing, but then hype really started building and I was booking hardcore bands from here all the way to Franklin,” said Shane Muldowney, fest organizer and guitarist of Pain Principle. “Since there are so many bands we decided the best way to get everyone paid is to really push people towards the merch table, the only problem is only two of the bands on the show have shirts, and everyone else is still in the process of recording a demo. So some of the bands are going to sell some of their dad’s old records and hope that’s enough to cover gas.”
Bands playing the fest have been hard at work with promotion in order to get the biggest turnout possible.
“I told my parents, my girlfriend, and two of my neighbors who definitely said they might come. This will be our third show, and this time we are playing about eight minutes of our own material and then about six Cro-Mags covers,” said Owen Celia, lead singer of recently formed hardcore band Sanctity. “I’m not sure how many people we can draw that will actually pay, I already promised a few people I could get them in for free, they just need to come early and carry an amp or two. I heard one of the bands playing has a brother that dated a girl who lived with someone that knows a rep at Rise Records, so this will be good for networking.”
Local scene historian “Salty” Sam O’Leary says local shows often suffer from too many bands being added.
“I’ve seen this too many times. A young kid finally gets the guts to pony up $750 to rent out an event space and then he goes ham inviting every band on the eastern seaboard to play,” said O’Leary. “Most of these bands will break up in a few months, then they will start new bands with people they met at the shows and suddenly flyers will be saying things like ‘featuring ex-members of some bullshit nobody gives a dick about.’ Getting some of his deposit back is the best this kid can hope for, but someone will most likely break a window or set a curtain on fire.”
Update: During our reporting “Weapons of War Fest” added another 12 bands and a second day at a different location 45 minutes away.
This should honestly rank higher for being so bat-shit crazy, but it’s mostly a bore. Yes there are some classics, but that’s what Greatest Hits compilations are for. “Get Behind Me Satan” marks the proverbial beginning of the end for the White Stripes, where the playful Willy Wonka persona of Jack White started to become his actual personality. His head was so engorged by past praise he had to wear a goofy-ass top hat to keep it contained. This album was released at a time in which the Stripes could do no wrong. Jack challenged this notion by putting, like, five songs on the record where the main instrument is a goddamn marimba.
The title of this album is a reference to the 1920s minimalist art movement of the same name, and the contents of this offering are about as bland as that sounds. Jack and Meg divorced shortly before this album was recorded, which was such a traumatic experience for Jack that he legitimately believed they were brother and sister for years after the event. We’ll have to forgive them for this record being so unremarkable due to the tumultuous time in which it was born.
“Icky Thump” is the final studio album the band ever produced. Seemingly as an apology for all that marimba shit on “Get Behind Me Satan,” this record finds the White Stripes returning to their glory days of loud guitar, boom bap drums, and zany as fuck vocals. This had the potential to be a perfect collection of Stripes songs, but Jack found a way to sneak bagpipes in on not one, but TWO tracks.
While ranked a bit lower due to a general lack of cohesion and weaker songwriting, this eponymous album served as an incredible timepiece and preview of what was to come. Frenetically kicking off with “Jimmy the Exploder,” the lyrics almost seem to taunt the listener asking “do you want to explode?” This collection dutifully answers the question, “are the White Stripes punk?” with a resounding, “I guess.”
Duuuun, da dun dun da duuuuuun, duuuuuun. You sang it didn’t you? Yeah, the whole world did and stadiums across the globe continue to do so to this day. Did you know Jack White gets so much in royalties from “Seven Nation Army” that he probably never has to work again? That’s five sub-par solo albums no one needed to pretend to like by my count. Not only does “Elephant” include this massively successful lead single, there are other songs too! Thirteen of them to be exact, and they mostly all fucking rule.
This is the album that likely made your dad shit his pants while loudly proclaiming that rock and roll was “BACK, BABY!” That reaction was entirely warranted. “White Blood Cells” found the band in peak songwriting form, while also inspiring a legion of fellow noisy guitar bands to flourish. Lead single and door-buster “Fell In Love With A Girl” provoked poignant questions from listeners such as “are my speakers blown?” and “is he singing in English?” Many music critics point to the release of “White Blood Cells” as the dawn of the Garage Rock Revival, but the truth is that Jack and Meg recorded this one in a professional studio, as Jack needed a place to store his Vespa during the sessions.
In 2002 The Get Up Kids were riding high. Emo music was about to take over every high school drama department, they had just toured with Weezer (who were still somewhat respectable at the time), and they were flirting with the mainstream. Then they released “On a Wire.” It’s like your favorite team had just won the championship, and then the next season they came back, filled the water jug with liquid shit, and started devouring the diarrhea in front of everyone. I’ve lost the thread here, but this album isn’t their best.
This is by no means a bad album, in fact if it’s the first The Get Up Kids album you ever heard you probably have a fondness for it, but unfortunately you’re wrong and you need to understand that. “Guilt Show” just lacks the special sauce that makes TGUK so replayable. The tempo is a bit too slow, there seems to be a country twang to the whole thing, and for that reason, it’s low on this official list.
This is the biggest departure stylistically for The Get Up Kids, but it makes sense in its own way. You can hear The Pixies, Failure, and new wave influences throughout, and I’m just going to assume The Get Up Kids kids are fans of those bands and new wave in general. If I’m wrong then I’ll eat a car tire. The entire fucking tire, steel band and all. I’m being serious, if you can provide me with written proof that I am wrong then we can go to the Costco Tire Center by my house and I’ll start chowing down. No condiments, no water, all rubber, and metal.
Unfortunately, compilation albums aren’t allowed to be ranked. Including them in a rankings list will often get you on some sort of terrorist watch list. But we are going to try to sneak this under the radar, and hopefully next time I fly I’m not subjected to a full cavity search. This comp has a lot of B-sides and covers. Some of the covers are arguably better than the originals, others are a waste of time entirely. Sidenote, I got banned from the mall for stealing this CD before an orthodontist appointment back in 2001. The good old days.
That’s right, it’s not often a band’s newest album is this high on a list. But, for the most part, the Get Up Kids had a return to form with “Problems.” The majority of the songs are upbeat, Matt Pryor is really belting out those lyrics, and if this was an album that came out during the time people were forced to listen to CDs I’d know every lyric, but since streaming ruins everything I never think to listen to it, still good though.
“Woodson” is the first music The Get Up Kids released and it’s got more of an edge. The songs are yelled a little bit more than they are sung, and it’s amazing. “Red Letter Day” is the first release featuring James Dewees on keyboards and it took The Get Up Kids from a good band, to a great band. Also, I had a friend who claims he dated the woman “Mass Pike” was written about. I think he’s a liar, but don’t let that ruin this collection of songs for you.
The Get Up Kids came out of the gate firing with their debut album. When I listened to this album as a 16-year-old I thought the guys in the band had lived multiple lives. They sang about lost love, setting off on your own, and creating your own life. Then I learn they were still teenagers when they wrote it and it made me realize I had done nothing with my life, and because I’m consistent, I’ve still done nothing with my life, and this album is a brutal reminder of that.
You already knew this was going to be ranked number 1. This is as close to perfect of an album as you can get. Catchy hooks, singalongs, songs you can put on a mixtape and not feel like a complete tool, it has it all. And don’t pretend you never drove home alone on a Friday night in the car you inherited from your grandma after her untimely death screaming all the words to “Out of Reach” and thinking to yourself “I’ll be alone forever.” We’ve all been there.
