OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local “occasional” smoker Samantha Terrett recently realized her secret pack of cigarettes reserved for emergencies was empty for the fifth time this…
It used to be effortless making friends outside the venue when you were a smoker. Usually you’d just ask if anyone had a light and…
SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y — Local cigar smoker Charles Morley and his group of male friends who look and act exactly like him announced their raison…
LONG BEACH, Calif. — Local man Will Murphy was reportedly kicked out of Joyce Manor’s hometown show when he refused to smoke a cigarette with…
NEW YORK — Punk savant Jacob Alvarez was reportedly born with an uncanny ability to spot a person with an extra cigarette from over two…
PHOENIX — Local punk Frankie “Bullet” Higgins is quietly and privately working through the trauma of leaving his Yellow American Spirits sitting in the scorching…
WASHINGTON — A new report from the Food and Drug Administration confirmed that the rate of teenagers rhyming the word “cigarette” with the words “night…
LINCOLN, Neb. — A local woman was seen performing life-sustaining measures on her Marlboro Menthol cigarette after finding it barely clinging to life at the…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local stoner Dave Truman set out to prove to friends, family, and acquaintances that weed is not addictive by abstaining from the…
Dude, we got this new strain of weed from Maryland called “Bong Hit Transplant,” and it will melt your face. Anyway, me and my friends…
PHILADELPHIA — Recent transplant Eric Bromley’s ill-fated attempt to meet new people outside of a punk show escalated into a full-blown fist fight within minutes,…
LOS ANGELES — Local gamer Aaron Hopper insisted that he “plays way better when he’s stoned” despite a complete lack of experience playing any other…
MOAB, Utah — Local woman and alleged 10-year “social smoker” Keria Morley has virtually no known social life outside of walking her neighbor’s dog occasionally,…