Commercials will always be incredibly fake and pandering. Since there are plenty of people who like punk music, it’s no surprise for that to be…
TERRE HAUTE, Ind. — Disappointed members of electro-punk outfit Lilypad Lads were sad to discover that their newly purchased vintage synthesizer was extremely difficult to…
HOUSTON — Local goregrind band Coffin Stew give much more attention to scouring old sleaze and monster movie VHS tapes for cool samples to put…
Throughout our nation’s history, the President of the United States of America has always claimed to be a man of the people. Teddy Roosevelt with…
BERLIN — Late nineties pop sensation Lou Bega excited fans this week when he implied that a follow-up to his widely celebrated “Mambo No. 5”…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Discord user Michael McNeil drew the ire of a Mario fan server after failing to use spoiler tags when revealing that Princess…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A man with a tattoo depicting an enemy from the influential shoot ‘em up game Space Invaders was chastised recently for not…
PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — Local grandma Meredith Blum has been stuck for two days on the opening screen of Super Mario 64, reportedly unable to complete…
DR. LIGHT’S LAB — Saying he feels blessed at the technology yet wistful for his bygone appendage, local robot hero Proto Man revealed today that,…
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — In an attempt to save himself from certain death by walking directly off a platform, a local green Koopa named George was…
RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons to take on a boss…
THE CITY — A hired goon taking cover behind a crate made a fatal error and left his ankle exposed, leading to nine gun shots…
NEW YORK — Local street fighter Brock Fistman reportedly received the opposite effect as intended after eating a turkey leg he discovered in the trash…
WAXAHACHIE, Texas — Local couple Darryl Perkins and Amanda Stein recently found out they were going to get into a fight after a force field…