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Dickhead Reviewing Guitar Pedal Didn’t Turn All the Knobs Up at the End for Fun

CHICAGO — Popular guitar pedal demoist Drew Bypass is under fire to presenting the new Kinky Effects PH-1 Phattener Phuzz without cranking all the knobs up at the end, irate viewers confirmed.

“I prefer to present guitar effects in a tuneful, usable context like I would use in my weekend praise & worship gig,” explained Bypass, who has reportedly never turned his guitar amp up past 2. “Remember—just because a knob can be turned up to 10 doesn’t mean it should be. I find moderate, restrained guitar tones capable of conveying the most emotional messages in music. Just ask my favorite musician ever, Joe Bonamassa. Anyways, the Phattener provides excellent fuzz for those vintage, warm tones befitting God and man.”

YouTube viewers could barely contain their fury at Bypass’s limp, milquetoast presentation of the Phattener Phuzz.

“What is his fucking problem? Drew Bypass’s demo methodology is like taking a Corvette for a test ride and keeping it in first gear in a parking lot the whole time,” fumed Lily Tovak, frontwoman and guitarist of no-wave band The Attempteds. “He’s the only one with a quality demo of the Phattener, and I need a new fuzz badly. I don’t know a single note on the fretboard and I rely exclusively on amp feedback. Will the PH-1 give me that ability? I’ll never know, because this coward of a reviewer didn’t turn it up all the way at the end of the video. It’s like he hates joy.”

Veteran music gear YouTubers offered their take on navigating the extremes of a pedal.

“Musicians all want different things, from transparent boosts to wild fuzzes. It’s impossible to please everyone in one video,” said Andy Martin of ProGuitarShop and Reverb’s YouTube channels. “That’s why I decided to launch AndyAfterDark, my new demo channel on OnlyFans. I’ll crank all the knobs up, baby. You’ll hear overdrive pedals squeal and moan in ways you never thought possible. These videos are way too hot for YouTube.”

As of press time, Drew Bypass is reportedly hemorrhaging subscribers after demoing a new guitar but only playing the neck pickup for the whole video.