Whoa there, buddy. I didn’t come to this party to cultivate new friendships or trick people into connecting with me on LinkedIn. I came here…
BLAINE, Wash. — Local band with at least one felony, Green Stream, will not be playing their scheduled Vancouver and Calgary shows of a current…
NEW YORK — Marketing associate and long-time New Yorker Carly Tseng reportedly wasted National Coffee Day by purchasing coffee at Starbucks. “This time of year,…
DENVER — Local man Liam Cooper announced that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his girlfriend charitably made for him was “worse than eating dog…
ENCINO, Cali. — West coast hip hop artist Travis MacKinnon, known in the music world as Beezy P, admitted that the only form of communication…
Ow! Seriously, that really fucking hurts! It feels like you’re slowly slitting my bicep with a hot, wet scalpel. I guess now I know how…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Peter Thurman is pretty certain nobody can tell he frequently uses his COVID mask as a cloth napkin for yet-to-be…
So you’re a gearhead, huh? You think you’ve got a sweet gear collection? Alright, if you’re so sure of yourself, then how about putting your…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a dinner party hosted by Jon and James Adler were ignorant that the couple had engaged in a raw, depraved…
SAN FRANCISCO — A large drum circle in Golden Gate Park was ruined by each and every percussionist’s inability to keep a beat, understand rhythm,…
In today’s highly connected and ultra competitive world, parents want to give their children every advantage possible. As anyone who’s ever seen a Tarantino movie…
MILWAUKEE — Shockwaves were sent through all of music fandom when the world realized Canadian folk punk band Violent Femmes are in fact not Canadian…