KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Local sound guy Steve Underwood gave a firm thumbs up to band Corpulent Baby at the RagnaRock venue despite changing nothing on the board, sources who needed more guitar in the monitor confirmed.
“Yes yes, I saw the numerous irritating hand flaps from the band to adjust their music, if you want to call it that,” noted Underwood, veteran audio engineer and self-described “Kaiser of the Console.” “I set a perfect balance from the start. I don’t need a band of amateurs telling me how to do my job. I didn’t get hired for two weeks as a substitute mic stand tech for Winger in ‘89 because I’m some hayseed who fell off of the turnip truck! Plus, I’m pretty sure two-thirds of these knobs don’t even do anything anyway.”
People in the audience got mixed messages as they witnessed the band juggling multiple hand signals while also trying to perform their songs.
“Honestly, I couldn’t really tell what was going on up there,” admitted show attendee Lauren Hightower. “It started out as just a few motions from the vocalist, but quickly turned into a flurry of hand waves. I thought that maybe he was doing sign language for people who were hearing impaired. Also, what was up with the vocals? I could barely hear them.”
Corpulent Baby vocalist Axel Svendsen was furious at the sound guy’s unprofessionalism.
“For fuck’s sake, what does it take to get the vocals louder in the monitor?” asked an exasperated Svendsen. “It’s not like I was asking him to throw some auto-tune into the mix. All I could hear was bass drum and snare. I figured the ‘gesturing toward the mic then pointing upwards’ motion was pretty fucking clear. He just pretended to hit a bunch of buttons that weren’t there, gave me a big thumbs up, then went back to scrolling through pics of coaxial cables on his iPad.”
At press time, owners of the music venue revealed that they had a long conversation with Underwood about addressing the needs of the musicians performing, to which he responded with an immediate and reassuring thumbs up.
When I sat down to start these rankings I was going to say something about how “isn’t it a shame that the Clash had to ruin an otherwise phenomenal discography with this absolute bloated fart of an album,” but I’m going to revise my perspective here. Not of the record itself, which is entirely awful, but that I am glad they released one collection of work that proves they are fallible. Otherwise, The Clash may have proved to be entirely too powerful.
The Clash were never afraid to experiment with their sound, which is good – but judging by the length of this record, they also never employed a producer who said to them “hey, guys, maybe let’s trim the fat a bit here.” The inflated track list is the main detractor here as otherwise great songs simply get shuffled away and lost in the mix, and it’s likely why this album never achieved a much higher status than being a second favorite of super hardcore fans. “Sandinista!” is the vinyl embodiment of the old axiom “too much of a good thing.”
C’mon, you all know this one. Especially you, M.I.A and every step-dad who thinks they can make their new wife’s kids think they’re cool by playing “Should I Stay or Should I Go” mostly right on an acoustic guitar. Despite being, arguably, the band’s most commercial effort, “Combat Rock” doesn’t try too hard to sound grown up and follows up on the reggae and dub experimentation of previous albums effortlessly. I also just want to say that, as much as I love this album, “Rock the Casbah” is an exceedingly corny song when you read into it. Yeah, I know, fight me about it later, nothing matters.
Proof that The Clash has always been way the fuck ahead of the rest of their punk scene peers, the band’s second album sounds more like Bruce Springsteen wrote a ska album than pissed-off U.K. punks comically sneering for the British tabloids. Fortunately, the band figured out a way to develop that did not involve firing the only members of your band who could actually play like some other (*cough* Sex Pistols), and while “Give ‘Em Enough Rope” is often overlooked (being chronologically sandwiched between two of the greatest punk records ever made and all) it’s well worth going back to see how it all got built.
Here it is – the classic – the start of it all. The most impressive part of this record is that it was able to become so completely influential for an entire musical movement despite not being able to understand one single fucking lyric off of the entire goddamn record. It sounds like they tried to transcribe Joe Strummer using semaphores. But, barrelling through one blistering track after another while still dropping in needling hints of the reggae influence the band would later flog beyond death like a heap of pale horses, “The Clash” will always remain an iconic landmark in U.K. punk.
If you meet a punk who claims they never had this poster taped up on their wall in middle school, immediately check to see if they’re wearing a wire because they’re probably a cop. It’s not exactly a rule, more just happenstance that if you grew up in the punk scene then this was your favorite album at one time or another. I used to listen to the copy I’d burned from the library every day after school, chain-smoking Salem cigarettes in my room until my parents got home from work. And I’m willing to bet a lot of people have some augmented version of that same story attached to this record. There aren’t a lot of universal truths in this world, but one of the few I can confidently affirm is that this album kicks ass.
