First of all, I am allowed to have a social life. I’m not just gonna sit alone in my apartment like there is no life…
BEND, Ore. — Local amateur historian and occasional beloved family member Paul Poppavich vehemently dismisses news of fascism’s rising international tide, despite an encyclopedic knowledge…
My Mom has a huge extended family – Roman Catholic. She’s one of thirteen siblings and, if you can believe it, the only daughter of…
Our Uncle Hewlit was never the brightest bulb in the box. He’s the sort of guy who is highly susceptible to conspiracy theories like QAnon,…
The road to success is not traveled in the backseat, it’s traveled with you in the driver’s seat, or perhaps walked by foot, or maybe…
It’s the holiday season and while normies are arguing over whether Halloween or Christmas is better, I know the real answer is Thanksgiving. I couldn’t…
CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local millennial Jacob Horwitz felt nostalgic for a time when corporate rental giant Blockbuster moved into his town and destroyed his aunt…
Uncle Bill moved to South Carolina a few years ago to get away from Critical Race Theory even though he’s a single man with no…
CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local plumber and barfly Randy Kunzelman became borderline irate after a family member told him most of the horrific footage featured in…
We weren’t alive during Woodstock 99, but we know a lot about it, all of which we have learned against our will. In fact, between…
TULSA, Okla. — Local elitist and retired CPA Ronnie Clayton really struggled to draw a musical thread relating the hyperpop sensations 100 gecs to the…
BOSTON — Local uncle Harvey Sumwade amassed national attention after gaining prominence for his encyclopedic knowledge of World War II while also being a staunch…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Nieces and nephews of local fun uncle Dennis “The Dennster” Drindle were shocked recently to learn that Drindle regrets every last life…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Twice divorced Uncle Mike Dilmer became outraged beyond comprehension due to the mere existence of Tofurky at his extended family’s Thanksgiving celebration,…
They say that alcohol destroys families. But it’s the only thing keeping mine together. I would know, as someone who is always within arms reach…