SAN FRANCISCO — Super7, the popular toy company known for its niche collectables, released a new talking Lars Ulrich doll that comes equipped with a…
I know that anytime you go to a metal show and focus in on the drummer pounding away on the skins at 250 beats per…
Edging, the practice of sexually stimulating oneself up to the point of arousal without achieving climax for some reason, may have a new trend. Local…
EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Local drummer Austin Block admitted to feeling intense jealousy, abandonment, and heartbreak when his bandmates in Genghis Pawn executed multiple jumps…
BOULDER, Colo. – Local man Rozco Ambo admitted he was concerned that the entire crowd watched him completely botch his air drumming routine during a…
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — The ongoing legal battles that are plaguing Donald Trump’s 2024 presidential prospects continue with last night’s announcement disqualifying him from contention…
LOS ANGELES — An anxious Travis Barker reportedly did not quite know what to do or where to put his drumsticks while trying to maintain…
Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism
Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism
I’ve heard my fair share of criticism from my bandmates over the years. They say that I’m “too moody.” That I’m an “unreliable asshole.” That…
True, by the time you finish this article many of these drummers will be dead or replaced. But as of this moment, all 50 are…
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. — Local doom metal legend Ted Halverson, the skinsman for classic doom outfits such as Snore and Prophet Of Emptiness, recently admitted that…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — The entire state of California experienced a sudden and significant shortage of printer paper after Josh Freese attempted to print an…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local teenager Denise Draymond’s uncontrollable leg bouncing and foot tapping is catching the attention of multiple people who see potential in her…
LOS ANGELES — Former Blink 182 member Matt Skiba frantically searched “how to play drums” upon news that Travis Barker’s hand surgery would postpone the…
THREE OAKS, Mich. — Maggie Hinkle, the drummer of dreamo band LEERER, is reportedly showing her yuletide spirit by filling each one of her drums…
LOS ANGELES — Members of Hollywood mainstays Eager Young Space Cadet regret letting headliner Porky Pig borrow their kick drum after he inflicted some extreme,…