BOULDER, Colo. – Local man Rozco Ambo admitted he was concerned that the entire crowd watched him completely botch his air drumming routine during a recent performance by his favorite band Propagandhi, sources confirmed.
“Dude. I know ‘Back to the Motor League’ as well as I know the lunch menu at Boulder Vegan Cafe, man. How could I have missed the hi-hat? I practice that shit every day. My boss told me if I don’t stop air drumming during my shift he’s going to have to hire a new crossing guard,” said Ambo while hiding in a dark corner. “Everything was going perfect for most of the song. I nailed the groove, the fills, I had it all then all of a sudden I just completely whiffed on the hi-hat. Thankfully the guys in the band were able to play through it, but the people standing behind me are probably still laughing their asses off at my mistake.”
Another concertgoer observed Ambo sulking in the rear of the venue.
“I can’t believe that guy. That was one of the saddest displays of air drumming I’ve ever seen. I was deep in the pocket playing air bass and I was trying to lock in with him, but he made way too many mistakes. It was unprofessional to say the least,” said Lizzie Foster. “Anyone could see he was completely off. Jord was doing a standard paradiddle behind the kit and this guy in the crowd is air-bashing cymbals like he was Neil Peart. If you can’t keep air time then please don’t come an air drum at any show I’m at.”
Ryan Utes, a local air instrument expert, says a lot of people overestimate their air-playing skills.
“I can understand the frustration. It’s easy to air drum at home when the bright stage lights that aren’t anywhere near you are turned off, but the pressure of doing it live can be too much for some people,” said Utes. It’s no easy street, but if you are at a show and start jamming along, you had better get it right. Tre Cool from Green Day is known to leave the stage and cancel the rest of the show if he sees people air drumming incorrectly. This is not a game to some people.”
At press time, Ambo was being charged with assault after he allegedly injured the bartender’s eye when he air threw his air sticks in frustration.