Opinion: If Drag Is So Harmless Then Why Do I Have This Terrifying Erection
Dear America. I know that this country is supposed to be a melting pot where different nationalities and cultures can…
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Ryan Clark
16 stories found
Opinion: I Think I’m Finally Ready to Waste My Time and Become a Casualty of Society
Looking back on my life I’ve realized that I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But these are the things you…
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Drummer Feels Left Out After Synchronized Jump
EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Local drummer Austin Block admitted to feeling intense jealousy, abandonment, and heartbreak when his bandmates in…
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Opinion: Let’s See That Thirteen Year Old Who Beat Tetris Fit My 12-Piece Drum Set In My Ford Fiesta
I bet you think you’re a big man now, don’t you? But guess what, just because you are the first…
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Opinion: All Timecops Are Timebastards
Cops fucking suck. There isn’t anything new with that statement. But at least the douchebaggery that pigs dish out is…
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Classic Car Owner’s Hood Infested with Rockabilly Models
YORBA LINDA, Calif. — Classic car owner Charles Metzger found yesterday what appeared to be dozens of rockabilly models all…
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Opinion: It’s Eve 6 Not Steve 6!
Homosexuality is a sin, plain and simple. Anyone trying to tell you these people are just like you and me…
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Opinion: Can I Please Just Fuck My Cousin and Not Be Associated With the Confederate Flag
I’d like to start this off by setting the record straight. I fuck my family members and I’m not afraid…
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New Species of Lice Found Living On Crust Punk
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. - Last week UC Santa Cruz Entomologist Sara Springer shocked the science community by discovering a new…
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Lead Singer Wishes the Audience Would Ask How He Is Doing for Once
BROWNSVILLE, Texas -- Kevin Sigourney, lead singer of screamo band Within the Webs, stunned audience members gathered at the local Veteran's…
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