RENO, Nev. — Touring hardcore outfit Hammer Envy received a single, damp towel last night to share amongst the four of them while staying at…
ATLANTA — Delta Airlines flight attendant Moses Ray dedicated yesterday’s routine flight to Chicago to “the real mother fuckers in coach” during an impassioned pre-flight…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — 33-year-old pop-punk frontman Danny Huerta has reportedly been cast out of the scene he helped build after he was outed late…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Butthole Canyon frontman Richie Butthole increasingly regrets his chosen stage name, now that he is approaching his mid-30s, sources close to the…
INDIANAPOLIS – Local girlfriend Stacey Hopkins, currently sitting on the edge of the couch while her boyfriend plays Battlefront II, has reportedly just dropped $3,000 to…
LANSING, Mich. — Local OSHA inspector Gary Branville found an upsettingly high number of blatant safety violations in the latest edition of the popular “Construction…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local metalhead Terry Parker found yesterday that he is almost out of body parts into which to carve the word “Slayer” as…
Legendary music producer Quincy Jones is best known for his cool demeanor and ability to spot raw talent, but the 79-time Grammy Award nominee was…
MENLO PARK — Facebook has slowly unveiled a powerful update to their newsfeed algorithm which exclusively surfaces the most important posts a band makes: official…
In anticipation of his Feb. 5 return to Twitch, Dr. DisRespect has reportedly already begun his extremely slow rotation of his gaming chair, sources confirm.…
Well this isn’t good. WWE Champion John Cena has a heart of gold, but it might just cost one sickly child his life. Cena —…
Enough is enough. When they came for my haircut (a slicked back undercut) I didn’t say anything. Yes, I know, it was a hitler youth…
OAKLAND — A first date at a crowded DIY basement show is going about “as good as one would expect,” witnesses close to the tentative…
OAKLAND — Blackened crust band DEATH BIRD has penned an extensive, preemptive apology note to their community before writing any music, dismissive sources confirmed today.…