DETROIT — Joe Biden was seen pacing back and forth outside a local factory today, searching for the mother fucker he invited to “take this…
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local frontman Spencer Wilt made an impassioned declaration to the Coronavirus “and other infectious diseases,” clarifying that highly contagious sicknesses of any…
DETROIT — Democratic frontrunner Joe Biden admitted he is considering current president Donald Trump as a potential running mate in his bid for the presidency…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Eddy “Rotgut” Lewiston made a panicked phone call to his parents to make sure his vast fortune was not affected…
AUSTIN, Texas — Austin native Trevor Conley lamented the sudden cancelation of SXSW claiming the long-running tech, music, and film fest used to draw much…
Dude! I was at the mall getting a new pair of JNCOs and some sick fingerless gloves from Hot Topic, and I saw those dorky…
LOS ANGELES — Former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg announced he will be suspending his presidential campaign via a multi-million dollar ad campaign, sources…
LOS ANGELES — A confused Vice President Joe Biden announced he is dropping out of the democratic primary contest today, throwing his weight behind moderate…
NEW YORK — A recent report from Overpower-Overcome Enterprises found that last year’s inordinate number of backstabbings ground the hardcore scene’s street justice system to…
CARSON, Calif. — Tampa Bay Vipers stand-out kicker Andrew Franks outraged fans and pundits last week after refusing to stand for Stone Cold Steve Austin’s…
LAS VEGAS – Outspoken former UFC Featherweight and Lightweight Champion Conor McGregor shocked the world by expressing his openness to fighting legendary ex-Black Flag frontman…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — Former Vice President Joe Biden’s campaign is reeling today after the Democratic contender reportedly kissed a baby square on the lips while…
WASHINGTON — Scientists at the Gibson Institute of Environmental Studies issued a stunning new report yesterday, claiming the devastating effects of climate change could mean…
SALT LAKE CITY — Members of supposed straight edge band Untainted were cast out of their local scene yesterday after debuting a logo that did…
DOVER, N.H. — Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez was seen painting a fake tunnel onto the side of a mountain yesterday, admittedly hoping to…