Ah, the Garden State. To know her is to marginally tolerate her out of necessity. The taxes, the corrupt politicians, the odor; it’s really got everything for a young, impressionable punk to rebel against. You can call Jersey the armpit of America all you want, but when was the last time you went to a punk show that didn’t smell like B.O.? Sorry your poser state smells like lavender fields or honeydew or whatever.
We know we are brash to outsiders, but deep down, we are also equally as hardened. Thus, the bands from our great state rule. Here are 15 bands you should familiarize yourself with.
We hope that this window into the New Jersey scene helps you better understand our culture, or at least tolerate it a little more. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to hop on a train to the city so we can actually see some good touring acts.
It’s no coincidence that Fall Out Boy’s most mainstream album is also our least favorite. Sure, there are some real gems if you listen beyond the overplayed singles, but we’ve heard “Centuries” too many times to count. Would it kill the NFL music supervisors to play “Irresistible” or the title track instead? For Christ’s sake, even “Immortals” was easier to avoid and that shit was in “Big Hero 6.”
Perhaps if “Young And Menace” dropped after 100 gecs made nightcore cool again, more people would’ve come around to this one. While not without its faults, there are a lot of interesting moments happening throughout this album with the exception of failed jock jam “Champion,” a rare low point for Fall Out Boy. If you’re going to make a weird album, don’t stick a bland radio single in there — commit to the chaos.
We don’t want to rank it too high lest recency bias clouds our judgment, but Fall Out Boy’s first new album in five years is pretty damn good. The opening guitar solo on “Love From The Other Side” brings back fond memories of listening to their earlier records. Though it’s unclear what Patrick Stump is saying on certain tracks, the fact that we’re scrambling to search up lyrics proves Fall Out Boy is back.
Despite its title, Fall Out Boy’s first album since returning from their hiatus is more focused on saving pop-rock than rock and roll. It doesn’t even defend pop punk. Still, it’s genuinely exciting to hear the band’s renewed chemistry on collaborations with the likes of Courtney Love and Elton John. Whether you’re moved by the soulful vocals or sad to hear music that doesn’t sound like it came out in 2005, you’ll shed tears for the powerful title track.
This was our favorite Fall Out Boy album once upon a time. Unfortunately, that time was 2003 and we’ve moved on with our lives. These songs will always hold a special place in our hearts and our high school journals, but we’d be lying to ourselves if we said this was their best work. Would you say Nirvana’s “Bleach” is better than “Nevermind?” Oh, you’re one of those people who would. Nevermind.
Like New York’s hottest club, this album has everything: A Jay-Z feature, some glorious guitar solos, and a touching nod to Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” It’s radio-friendly enough to get away with at the gym yet it rocks hard enough to please your purist friends who insist Fall Out Boy haven’t made a good album since this one. Also, the cover art features an adorable sheep named Franklin. His presence alone puts this in the top 3.
It will be a sad day when the “Joker” sequel makes it impossible to discuss this album without people thinking you’re talking about Joaquin Phoenix and Lady Gaga. We live in a society where that film might win Oscars while this masterpiece doesn’t even have a Grammy nod to its name. Newer Fall Out Boy fans might not remember, but Pete Wentz went method during this era for the “I Don’t Care” music video. Where’s his awards buzz?
With the angstiest lyrics, catchiest melodies, and longest song titles, this is the quintessential Fall Out Boy album for good reason. Breakout hits “Dance, Dance” and “Sugar We’re Goin Down” are just as exciting now as they were 15 years ago, though it’s disorienting to hear them on the classic rock station these days. Even kids who were in diapers when this came out can find catharsis in how Pete Wentz wears his heart on his Clandestine Industries sleeve.
The greats have to start somewhere. This second-rate Depeche Mode tribute with lyrics that appear to have come from a high school sophomore fresh out of the poetry class he got a C- in, in NIN’s case. And just listen to the production. Did they have GarageBand in 1988?
This album took about a week to make, and boy, does it show. Take the first “real” opening track, “1,000,000,” which features a riff Tool has employed dozens of times already. It lives in the shadow of the first Ghosts release, and suffers from being the most forgettable thing NIN has released. Even releasing this sucker for free didn’t help.
The most inessential Nine Inch Nails project gets brought back during the pandemic after twelve years. A boring soundtrack to a film that doesn’t exist. Many of the tracks here run over five minutes, and even that frantic drum break in “Still Right Here” can’t awaken us from the deep sleep this snoozefest put us in.
Released at the same time as Ghosts V, this one gets the edge as it sounds just a tad more Lynchian. Remember when Trent did the soundtrack to “Lost Highway”? Even that fuckawful sax mess “Driver Down” creams every single track on this bloated endeavor.
The first Ghosts release is still the best, even if it runs an insulting one hour and fifty minutes. The Adrian Belew contributions on tracks 25 and 27 make for perhaps the most memorable moments over thirty-six fuckin’ tracks. And don’t get us started on “34 Ghosts IV.”
With an opening track named “Hyperpower!” (Trent’s exclamation mark, not ours), this “dystopian” “concept” album doesn’t give us high hopes. While it ends decently enough, this one is a thorough exercise in mediocrity. “Enjoyment Zero,” we call it.
The beginning of Nine Inch Nails’ downward spiral (ha, see what we did there?). After back-to-back masterpieces with “The Fragile” and, uh, “The Downward Spiral,” T-Rez started hitting the gym and making marginally less depressing music. Things would never be the same.
The first album in which Atticus Ross is an actual member, although calling this half-hour release an “album” is stretching it. Featuring a Death Grips-meets-jazz track, “God Break Down the Door,” is about the album’s only highlight. The instrumental tracks, however, are better than anything on the Ghosts projects, and the closer is a nice hat-tip to David Bowie. With a name like “Bad Witch,” though, this album just can’t hit the top three.
Goddammit, this album gets way too much shit. Just because Trent traded the anger for minimalist grooves doesn’t mean it should be written off. Did you know Lindsey Buckingham plays on this one? Don’t miss the killer bass playing from Pino Palladino, either. But, again: Lindsey Buckingham. We rest our case.
You knew there were only two choices for the top spots, right? Even though the second disc is plagued by the godawful “Starfuckers, Inc.,” it takes a seriously fucked-up genius to have “La Mer” flow into “The Great Below.” We’re in the fetal position wishing she never left us just thinking about that one-two gut punch.
Okay, folks. We’re probably the 2,512th Nine Inch Nails ranking list to put this one at the top. But goddamn. We’ve got everything from regular NIN cohort Adrian Belew doing that weird texture-guitar at the end of “Mr. Self Destruct” to that Johnny Cash cover everyone loves at the end. Deep cuts like “The Becoming” are just as badass. Brian Eno wishes he wrote “A Warm Place.” Oh yeah, it was also recorded in the Tate house. That Manson voodoo ensures this bleak, nihilist hellscape nabs the top of our ranking.
