We’ve all heard excuses for not doing the dishes and even gave them ourselves at one point or another. It’s only human to not want…
NAPERVILLE, IL — Recently gifted a four-track tape recorder, local musician Lee Ferrante recorded an especially timid and breathy vocal track while clearly not wanting…
ST. LOUIS – College freshmen, Keegan Smith and Caleb Kyle, are locked in a bitter argument over sharing the wall space for their identical Bob…
Thank god — you have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, which makes so much sense considering what a train wreck you are. This is useful…
BROCKTON, Mass. — Tenants of local punk house The Bunker were outraged this past week as they were evicted from their home only to see…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local man and filthy roommate Mickey Bedford was caught running the sink for a few short seconds on Tuesday evening in…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Julian “The Stain” Rainer stunned a group of friends by somehow clogging a perfectly good toilet merely after urinating…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local punk Shannon Kildare adheres to a unique, and potentially damaging, meal regimen of a granola bar and three beers before attending…
TOKYO — Trash stacking Olympian for Team USA, and resented roommate, Erica Forman qualified for the Tokyo 2020 finals of Stacking Trash On Top of…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local roommate Sarah Dillard shared a subtly-titled playlist with her housemates hinting that everyone except her move out of their Carytown apartment,…
NASHVILLE — Local woman and occasional defecator Ingrid Fowler was shocked and alarmed to discover her boyfriend’s bathroom had just a few flimsy strands of…
POCATELLO, Idaho — Local punk Tyler Christensen was purged from the punk community after it was discovered that he had been approved for a Discover…
NAMPA, Idaho — A punk house dispute over fixing a carbon monoxide detector was abruptly resolved after every single resident passed out at once, lightheaded…
BALLARD RESIDENCE — A disturbing and highly scientific new study has found that I, Gary Ballard, the extremely parched breadwinner that works too damn hard…
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — Fucking big shot Maria Richards felt the need to dazzle everyone by packing the dressers in her hotel room with neatly…