PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Julian “The Stain” Rainer stunned a group of friends by somehow clogging a perfectly good toilet merely after urinating…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local roommate Sarah Dillard shared a subtly-titled playlist with her housemates hinting that everyone except her move out of their Carytown apartment,…
POCATELLO, Idaho — Local punk Tyler Christensen was purged from the punk community after it was discovered that he had been approved for a Discover…
BALLARD RESIDENCE — A disturbing and highly scientific new study has found that I, Gary Ballard, the extremely parched breadwinner that works too damn hard…
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — Fucking big shot Maria Richards felt the need to dazzle everyone by packing the dressers in her hotel room with neatly…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Roommates Manny Hernandez and Rob McCarty spent their first weekend together laying the ground rules for their new home, flipping a coin…
PORTLAND — Anxious roommate Megan Styers allegedly adorned every door in her house with a post-it note bearing only the word “sorry,” “just in case…
SOCORRO, N.M. — A long-forgotten 10-quart pot filled with vegan chili was officially rebranded into a fully-functional composting toilet following the consumption of a box…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Local man David Baker’s ever-growing rat tail has reached a length that “definitely soaks it in the toilet bowl when he sits…
SUITLAND, Md. — The United States Census Bureau issued a sharp reminder to crust punks today to stop counting wild animals such as raccoons as…
NEW YORK — Local roommate Phil Darrow was ejected from his apartment after his friends discovered that he had lied about completing his dishes task.…