CLEVELAND, Ohio. — Pop rock band Goo Goo Dolls were once again voted “Third Best Band With ‘Goo Goo’ in the Name” for the twentieth…
PHILADELPHIA — Problematic punk Tom “Bigfoot” LaTucci was officially exiled from the local scene by the Punk Elder Tribunal this morning and banished to the…
PHILADELPHIA – Local man Travis Burnett revealed to his roommates this week that, without immediate intervention and deal making, he is going to reach his…
NEW YORK – Local Greek Orthodox punk Roland Lee admits he regularly misses out on limited edition Record Store Day releases due to the fact…
WASHINGTON – An audit of Supreme Court merchandise sales revealed that Justice Clarence Thomas pocketed roughly half the proceeds while failing to disclose said income…
NEW YORK — Punk savant Jacob Alvarez was reportedly born with an uncanny ability to spot a person with an extra cigarette from over two…
Where to begin? Weird Al’s work has been a cultural constant for decades, spanning fourteen studio albums, forty-six singles and dozens of perfectly placed farm…
LOS ANGELES — The cacophony of voices only audible to Beach Boys legend Brian Wilson today celebrated their 60th year of constantly insulting his car,…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local deadhead Conrad Heath announced that, while he certainly appreciates his loved ones singing “Happy Birthday” to him every year, no performance…
PHILADELPHIA – A dozen punks are adjusting to their new life as a single organism after getting their chain wallets tangled at a house show,…
EAST LANSING, Mich. — Members of local punk band Appeal To Hell are seriously considering getting out of their tour van to help their bassist…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local teenager and die-hard fan of The Menzingers, Jesse Smith, appeared today to be “tearfully nostalgic” for his 20s, which have…
Freddie Mercury was undeniably one of the most talented figures in rock history. He was, however, unforgivably naive when it came to science. Mr. Mercury’s…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local goth Andrea Smith is reportedly thrilled to begin telling anyone who will listen about the pagan roots of the yearly…
It’s that time of year again – Halloween! Are you ready to dress up like your favorite superhero, Supreme Court justice or depraved axe murderer?…