CINCINNATI, Ohio — Four songs into a set by local band Sewer Grates, drummer Ryan Richards walked off stage stating that the “vibes were off,” perplexed older sources confirm.
“Playing the drums, I never get a say in anything as it is,” said 23 year old Richards. “I’m just glad to get to play gigs, period, but they honestly get pretty repetitive for me, especially because all my bandmates are getting kinda up there in age. And then someone in the crowd yelled ‘play something good,’ which seems super toxic to me. So I had just had it and dipped. I don’t owe negative people my time, I gotta protect my energy.”
Other members of the Sewer Grates lament that Ryan belongs to a generation of musicians who cannot tolerate any form of negativity.
“Nowadays it’s hard just finding a drummer at all,” said singer-bass player Steve “The Snake” Wojekowski. “I knew something was up when he started burning sage in the rehearsal space to clear out the bad energy from the guy he replaced, but I’m a Gen Xer just assumed it was skunk weed at first. I never thought he’d walk off the stage like that though. We’ve had guys both pass out on us and get into fights on stage and get kicked out of the venue mid set but no, nothing like this. What the hell is a ‘vibe’ anyways?”
A promoter of the venue concurred that of all the excuses he’s heard for bad behavior over the years, this one still managed to take him by surprise.
“I had to laugh when I saw it go down,” said Luis Herrera. “I mean, I’ve seen some of these guys throw gnarly fits, like trashing the dressing room when the vegan options weren’t good enough and refusing to take the stage because the lighting was unflattering. But I’ve never seen anyone bail mid-set because of ‘bad energy.’ I bet you anything he went straight to his car and made a TikTok about it or something too.”
At press time, Ryan was seen applying for “remote drummer” positions.