Did you hear that there’s a recession around the corner? You may be completely broke, but you are going to hang out in cafes, by…
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Carmen Montozo admitted to knowing intimate details about each dog in her neighborhood while failing to learn the names of…
LOS ANGELES — Local musician Brian Herring is reportedly making a decent living as a working musician but is reluctant to mention his marriage to…
NEW YORK — Local man Roland Peachneck was reportedly shocked and disappointed that his “loser” roommates had nothing better to do on a Saturday night…
We’re not here to judge. Times have been tough and we all need to sleep somewhere. Whatever the circumstances are that led you to indefinitely…
OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — Prolific tarantula owner Nell Gibbons is reportedly withholding potentially important information from her roommate until she agrees not to make a…
LOS ANGELES — Staff at the Melrose Avenue Denny’s location are beginning to openly question if the members of local punk band Governmatricide are using…
CHICAGO — Liz Remis, a medical transcriptionist and three-year Chicago resident, voiced her horror at the thought of living in the suburbs in spite of…
CHICAGO — Piss-drunk indie pop band Belle & Sebastian spent a raucous evening tidying their hotel room at the Radisson Blu Aqua while on a…
HOPKINGTON, Mass. — Local creep Brad Hinton announced his plans to run a full marathon, moments after seeing a woman with visible tattoos 26.2 miles…
Money doesn’t grow on trees and we’re all about that, uhh, hustle. Yep. All about it. All the time. Us, hustling… Sorry, our heart just…
SAINT PAUL, Minn. — 37-year-old punk Ronald “Buckets” Drearer grossly exaggerated how much alcohol he regularly consumes in order to seem cooler during a recent…
WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in his social circle, according to…
COLUMBIA, Mo. — University of Missouri Freshman and aspiring professional architect Henry Right made the innovative choice while re-doing his dorm room to install a…
It’s no secret that the food service industry is in crisis mode right now. Citing poor pay, a lack of benefits, and dehumanizing treatment from…