Ween has no bad albums. Sorry, it’s true. They have great albums I listen to all the time and great albums that I’ll go years without playing only to play them again so obsessively that I feel like harm will come to my family if I stop. People can dismiss them or appreciate them for their goofiness or the completely accessible drugginess of their early work. Me? I love them for their genre-defying catalog and their resolute approach to creating listenable proto-memery (aka ‘art’). Sure, some Ween songs sound like a joke; “Flies on My Dick” comes to mind involuntarily. But the absurdity of early songs like “Touch My Tooter” makes them all the more head-scratchingly awesome when they rip that shit live. Who am I to rank these albums? I’m the guy that sat down and ranked these albums. So strap on that jammy pac, rub some lotion on that boardwalk Boognish tattoo, and see why the below Ween ranking is 100% accurate and confirmed by ChatGPT.
10. Pure Guava (1992)
Sure, it’s got some bangers like “Tender Situation,” “Don’t Get 2 Close (2 My Fantasy),” and “Hey Fat Boy (Asshole),” but it’s also the album that has resulted in countless barroom “conversations” with undeservedly confident, slobbery dudes who keep spitting in your face claiming the band is a one-hit wonder because “Push th’ Little Daisies” was on Beavis and Butt-Head.
Play it again: “Big Jilm”
Skip it: “Little Birdy” First song be damned, it’s like pouring the first sip out.
9. La Cucaracha (2007)
Lots of Ween fans place this album last, but it’s the origin of one of the best Ween songs in existence: the reflective “Friends” which emerges from its chrysalis as a VapoRubby party anthem (remixed by DJ Voodoo) on the separate EP of the same name. “Your Party” is an anthem for a different kind of party boasting tri-colored pasta and succulent juices from quality meat.
Play it again: “Friends” 69 times
Skip it: The show Friends seasons 1-10
8. 12 Golden Country Greats (1996)
This is #8 but what a #8 it is! “Fluffy,” “You Were the Fool”, “Mister Richard Smoker.” There ain’t a bad song on this ode to country album and can be used effectively as a conversation starter with your Aunt Amy who’s a diehard country fan, even if she wasn’t too keen on all the cussin’.
Play it again: “I Don’t Wanna Leave You on the Farm”
Skip it: “I’m Holding You” Another amuse bouche sidestepped for the main course.
7. The Pod (1991)
“Pork Roll Egg and Cheese” is required listening for New Jersey natives and transplants alike. “Dr. Rock” is a must for medical professionals and people named Derek. It’s also got the Leonard Cohen-inspired cover with Mean Ween wearing a so-called Scotchgard™ powered gas mask bong which was really funny until my carpets went to shit. Hey, RIP Leonard Cohen.
Play it again: “She Fucks Me” into “Pork Roll Egg and Cheese” for the ultimately Garden State breakfast sammy diptych.
Skip it: “Boing” probably.
Honorable Mention: Paintin’ the Town Brown: Ween Live 1990–1998 (1999)
Ween has a bunch of live albums but this one places ahead of Live at Stubb’s because it has a 26-minute live version of “Poopship Destroyer.” In the liner notes they share, “If we get the money someday, we want to get two big cannons that spray diarrhea on the crowd when we play this. We’ve been talking about it for years. just a thin mist that wafts over the crowd, sending you home with blown eardrums, smelling like shit.” If that’s not honorable then I don’t know what is.
Play it again: “Doctor Rock (Live)”
Skip it: “Vallejo (Live)” It’s thirty minutes but Guardians starts in twenty-five. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
6. The Mollusk (1997)
The Mollusk might be the most Ween album of all albums. And yet here it is at #6. But that’s the beauty of Ween, it’s #6 today, but next month it’ll be #3 or #10. Keep mouthing off and we will take it off the rankings completely and pretend it never existed. You will be like “But I own the album” and I’ll punch you in the chest so hard your will fart out a wrapped Cadbury Egg. So get off my back, Jack.
Play it again: “Pink Eye – On My Leg” and then wonder who let the dogs in!
Skip it: “Pink Eye – On My Leg” once you know the dogs are safe
5. Shinola, Vol.1 (2005)
It’s not an album as much as it’s a compilation of refugee songs. “Boys Club” is probably my favorite song of all time, even if the Bible was a song this would still be number one. Speaking of which, it’s got a song on it called “Israel.” It’s also got “Gabrielle,” and “Tastes Good on th’ Bun.” And of course “Big Fat Fuck” because it wouldn’t be a Ween album if there wasn’t some document of a morbidly obese jerkoff.
Play it again: “Boys Club” til the wheels fall off
Skip it: “Israel” It’s for me, not you.
4. Quebec (2003)
Quebec is beautiful like growing old with dignity while the love of your family washes over you, but with a darkness always jogging a few car lengths behind in the side-view mirror. When I first heard it I thought, man, someone is going through something on this. And now I identify with it more than ever because I know the value of a good primary care provider. My friend Miriam agrees so you can take it up with her too.
Play it again: “Hey There Fancypants” If you make it your ringtone God will call you. Ask Ricky.
Skip it: “Alcan Road” “because “Joppa Road” is my preferred Ween song about roads.
3. White Pepper (2000)
This album is a popular entry point because it’s arguably the most accessible, so it loses a point for that. Ween is an earned secret and how dare they create something that brings joy to a lot of people. It’s got all these dense popscapes (“Flutes of Chi” and “Exactly Where I’m At”) plus the biker-cranked “Stroker Ace” that pairs well with the pairing celebrated in “Bananas and Blow.”
Play it again: “Even If You Don’t” It’s a song Elton John wishes he wrote under the moniker Elton Josh.
Skip it: Come back to me, getting a soda.
2. GodWeenSatan: The Oneness (1990)
I went fishing with Dean Ween once for Milky Manchester’s bachelor party so yeah, he’s kind of a friend. A friend I paid to hang out with me and my friends. Unsurprisingly, he was very cool and shared lots of great stories, and I think we’ve been really tight ever since.
Play it again: “Don’t Laugh (I Love You)” Is there a better song title?
Skip it: Your NA meeting
1. Chocolate and Cheese (1994)
Just like these two foods together, this album is a party in your mouth and a party in your ears. It’s the perfect cocktail of sick and silly and you never lose sight of the fact that these guys love playing the music they create and respect music like it’s, uh, I don’t know, something that makes people’s days (and nights) better.
Play it again: “Freedom of ‘76” It brings jerks and non-jerks together.
Skip it: Your deposition

It’s not that “Days Go By” is necessarily a bad album, it’s just The Offspring’s worst album. The problem with “Days Go By” is that it lacks urgency. But this is understandable, considering that Dexter, Noodles, Greg, and whoever they had drumming on this one (Josh Freese) are all well into middle-age territory at this point. This album is safe. This album is logically where The Offspring should be at this phase of their career. This album stands on its own if you listen to it in a vacuum. But when pitted against the rest of their discography, it leaves a lot to be desired.
Overall, “Rise And Fall, Rage And Grace” seems like a feigned attempt on The Offspring’s part to shake off their signature sound. The whole album sounds tentative, as if they wanted to try something new, but were too afraid to fully commit. A common throughline for most post-2000 Offspring is that the songs are solid and well produced/performed, but at the same time, who cares? If you threw The Offspring’s entire discography on shuffle, and songs from this album popped up, casual fans wouldn’t be able to reliably guess what era of The Offspring this batch of songs is from.
“Let The Bad Times Roll” is the follow-up to 2012’s “Days Go By,” and it’s The Offspring’s tenth and most recent album. And in a way, it’s a return to form. But while the songs are quite catchy and reminiscent of their earlier work, it’s difficult to listen to at times. The most glaring problem with this album is that Dexter can’t really hit those high notes anymore. But the songwriting is there; if they tuned their guitars a half-step down, this album probably would have ranked a little higher.
“Conspiracy of One” was the highly anticipated follow-up to 1998’s “Americana,” and at this point it’s The Offspring by numbers. It’s a solid album but it doesn’t really offer anything new, and it’s clear that they were latching onto a tried and true formula at this point. But can you really blame them? From 1997 to 2000, The Offspring released “Ixnay on the Hombre,” “Americana,” and “Conspiracy of One,” back, to back, to back, while touring heavily to promote each album. That being said, these three albums could be repackaged as “Ixnay on the Hombre I-III,” and we don’t think anybody would be mad about it.
“Splinter” is The Offspring’s seventh studio album, and their first studio album without Ron Welty on Drums. Ron Welty left the band in 2003 to form Steady Ground, a band that nobody has ever heard of. Welty filed a lawsuit against The Offspring in 2020 for unpaid royalties, so clearly things went great for him after leaving The Offspring at the height of their popularity. As for the album itself, it was the most diverse album to date at this point in The Offspring’s career. But at the same time, they’ve pulled from this same bag of tricks before, so it comes off as tired.
Though this is by far the most raw album that The Offspring has put out, it’s got so much going for it. But it’s evident that the up-and-coming band had a bit of an identity crisis when they were working on this one. Songs like “Jennifer Lost the War,” and “Blackball” (among others) are politically driven, which isn’t an uncommon throughline in The Offspring’s career. But then next thing you know, you’re being assaulted by a Misfits-like horror-punk song called “Beheaded,” which highlights the finer points of lopping off the heads of your loved ones.
Though “Smash” still had better sales, to many, “Americana” is the album that made The Offspring a household name. We just wish that “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)” wasn’t the song that brought on so much commercial success. As a standalone song, we guess we can’t fault it too much, but as an Offspring song, it just feels out of place. That being said, “Americana ” piggybacks perfectly off of “Ixnay on the Hombre,” and further develops the sound that was established on that album. Without even counting, it’s safe to say that “Americana” has the most amount of “woahs” to date on any album put out by The Offspring. Simply put, this album is fun as hell, and it still holds up.
Like we said when we were talking about “Americana,” and “Conspiracy of One,” “Ixnay on the Hombre” is The Offspring perfecting their sound after breaking through with “Smash.” The problem with perfecting your sound four albums into your career is that it’s hard to determine where to go next. But “Ixnay on the Hombre” from start to finish is a classic pop-punk album, with fun tracks about smoking weed, hating stuff, and pretending you’re an airplane on the living room floor. And if that’s not a strong enough selling point, this album at the very least reminds us of “Crazy Taxi,” and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
“Ignition” was a telling album, but we just didn’t know it at the time. Coming off the moderate success of their self-titled debut, The Offspring further developed their sound. While this album still has a lot of the punk elements that we love their first album for, we see a better production. We don’t think anybody could have expected The Offspring to follow up this album with Smash, but in hindsight, you can see that “Smash” was the next logical step in their sonic journey. Most importantly, “Ignition” showed us that The Offspring was capable of more than just that fast-paced SOCAL pop-punk sound, and songs like “Dirty Magic,” and “Forever and a Day” show us that the foursome had range, which they explore on “Ignition.”
This may seem like a cop-out, but the numbers don’t lie. “Smash” sold over 11 million albums worldwide, and it’s safe to say that Epitaph saw a hefty payday for putting this masterpiece out. “Smash” is genre-bending, political, and funny, and the pacing, track-listing, and flow of the album are unmatched. “Smash” is pop-punk, but alternative. “Smash” is fast-paced, but knows when to slow down. “Smash” is not without humor, but also talks about societal problems that need to be addressed. In other words, “Smash” is The Offspring’s magnum opus.
“This goes against Americans’ First Amendment right to shitpost online.”
“I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. The governor just wants to keep us safe from foreign authoritarian regimes by implementing authoritarian-like bans.”
“It seems like nobody is thinking of the influencers of Montana. How are we city folk supposed to know what shampoo is best for our horses?”
“Great, now I’m going to have to drive all the way to North Dakota to get my daily social media dopamine hits.”
“If China doesn’t know what songs Montana teens are lip-syncing to it could be the start of World War 3”
“They ban TikTok but not military-grade rifles? It’s almost like the government doesn’t have your best interest at heart.”
“Hard to believe they’re worried more about your personal and private data going to China than your personal and private data going to US corporations trying to sell you shit and take all your money.”
“It’s like we’re living in 1984, whatever that means.”




