LOS ANGELES — Exclusive insider reports revealed that the eleventh film in the “Saw” franchise will feature Jigsaw torturing his victims by strapping them into…
Here at the Hard Times, we’re no strangers to waking up from a drug-induced slumber in a dingy bathroom next to a bunch of random…
WASHINGTON — Recently declassified documents outlining various so-called “enhanced interrogation” techniques used by the CIA during the War on Terrorism years reportedly included the use…
Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
So here you are in my torture chamber, just begging for me to put you out of your misery. Well as you squirm on your…
Get this, hepcats: we sat down with one of the red hot jazz combos of our times, the Frankie Tops Quintet, and wouldn’t you know…
VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis admitted to being concerned that punishing the French clergy responsible for decades of sexual abuse of minors may only make…
KABUL, Afghanistan — High ranking members of the Taliban decided to once again ban music throughout Afghanistan after your band’s demo was inadvertently played during…
Oh, you’re a Wu-Tang Clan fan too? Huh. Then name all of the members. I’ll wait. Oh, ok. Nice. But I bet you can’t tell…
ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Alleghany County Jail admitted today, in a shocking revelation, that the XBOX it allows prisoners to spend their “positivity” token to play…
RAQQA, Syria — ISIS claimed responsibility this morning for a graphic video documenting the beheading of late-night talk-show host Jimmy Fallon, in which the television…