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Heartwarming: These Five CEOs Set Aside Their Differences To Engage in Price Fixing

If you’re like us here at The Hard Times, you’re probably pretty bummed about the state of American Capitalism. Fortunately, if you need a feel-good story about modern day economics, then we’ve got you covered. This week we sat down with the CEOs of five major egg companies to discuss how they put aside their differences to engage in some good, old fashioned, all-American price fixing.

That’s right! These five CEOs came together and, with their combined brilliance and power, fixed their prices. Wasn’t that nice of them?

“Price fixing has been working for the oil and gas companies for decades now,” said EggTown USA CEO Warren Jeffries. “I figure it’s about time those of us in the poultry game got a little bit of that action. And wouldn’t you know it? These fellas all seemed to agree with me.”

Because we weren’t clear on exactly what price fixing is, we turned to Federal Trade Commission (FTC) Agent Elizabeth Morales, who was all too happy to inform us. “Price Fixing is when companies come together behind closed doors to create a non-competitive agreement for what the industry standard price of their product should be.” So much clearer! But she also added: “It’s highly illegal. Any organization that takes part in it risks serious repercussions.”

Well, it’s not our place to be throwing around labels like “illegal” and “unethical” when it comes to friendship. These five CEOs came together out of the goodness of their hearts, put aside their differences and created a non-competitive agreement. Together. It’s so good to see that decency still exists, even at the upper echelons of the corporate ladder. Besides, it’s been working for the oil and gas companies for decades now.

And of course, this is a forward thinking arrangement. It’s no boys club, with Happy Chick Farms CEO Michelle Halloran acting as a more than welcome presence at the price-fixing table. Talk about Shiv Roy energy! Go Michelle!

As we left the meeting with these absolute titans of industry, I mentioned FTC Agent Morales’ comments and Jeffries told me that: “We’ll have a talk with her. Perhaps the time has come to break a few eggs. So to speak.” The group then proceeded to order one milkshake with five straws. Absolutely heart-warming stuff! It’s nice to know that no matter how rich a man is, his true wealth is his friends. In this case, friends that help you get even richer.