LUBBOCK, Texas — Aging punk and amateur life coach Robbie Ginsburg was charged today with criminal negligence after authorities discovered four of his mentees died…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Lt. Dale Sherman was reportedly “completely bummed” to be on surveillance detail last weekend at the annual DIY, folk-punk Crust Fest, bemused…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A four-year-old golden retriever named Sadie is far and away the most productive member of local punk house, exasperated neighbors confirmed.…
AKRON, Ohio — New local venue The Roach Trap has set the DIY punk scene ablaze with its endless amenities, including a kitchen, bedrooms, and…
PITTSBURGH — Local DIY lifestyle advocate and sexually frustrated man Peter Jansen unveiled today his self-made sex robot, which looks worryingly like a refrigerator with…
Is it just me, or is everyone super bummed about climate change? While the lame-o’s waste their time composting and not having babies, the rest…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local punks Simone Marek and Kris Hagen announced today that they have secured “A” round funding to launch TatWell, a startup…
WEST SENECA, N.Y. — Legendary crust punk Selma “Pusbubble” Gormin shocked her friends and fellow squatters this morning, announcing that she was “sick of this…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Members of the Tempe punk music scene attempted an ill-advised DIY blood drive last night, accidentally killing four beloved scene veterans, shocked…
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — Local DIY punk venue Fr33k Haus had pledged to equip each of their bathroom stalls with doors by 2021, management…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Show organizer Nora King was forced to rely on her do-it-yourself ethos again moments ago to have an orgasm, after her casual…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Members of the Spokane DIY punk scene are reluctantly preparing to help local women who will lose access to vital healthcare services,…
NEW YORK — Local pop punk band Orange 17 has expressed interest in the fate of the infamous mail bomber’s van following his arrest, sources…
OLEAN, N.Y. — Musicians and patrons at local punk venue The Delmonico Prison report the building’s only functioning toilet is unfortunately located on stage, in…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local grandfather Peter Cruz received a lesson in do-it-yourself ethics last night from his grandson, who explained basic DIY principles while inside…
