WASHINGTON — Centrist historian Milt DeWalt claimed that opponents of the Nazis should have been willing to reach across the ideological aisle to ensure that guards at Auschwitz received better training, confirmed sources.
“My concern is that the ‘Never Again’ lens for thinking about the Holocaust ignores the fact that a few simple tweaks to SS guard training protocols could’ve triggered an incrementalist solution,” said Professor DeWalt. “Radical elements of the Nazi Resistance petulantly demanded Rohr full liberation of all concentration camps, but my research suggests they should have sought out compromise. Persuading the Führer to invest in commonsense reforms would’ve forced SS guards to adhere to best practices in prison camp sanitation and typhus abatement. If that era’s moralistic fanatics got out of the way, sensible centrists could’ve found common ground with Himmler and Hitler and a problem-solvers caucus could have emerged to rein in some of the Nazi’s worst atrocities.”
Seth Cowann, a former aide to New York Senator Chuck Schumer and current Domestic Policy Fellow at the center-left Third Way think tank, defended DeWalt’s moderate take on lessons to glean from Holocaust studies.
“Our Third Way mission is to boost the kind of scholarship that polls favorably with the Beltway elite,” said Cowann. “While giving more money to Nazi guards would likely have seemed counterintuitive to opponents of fascism during the World War II era, creative consensus builders of the 21st century understand that outside-the-box thinking may have increased worker productivity at forced-labor camps while also slightly mitigating the mass slaughter of innocents at death camps.”
Holocaust scholar and human rights activist Norm Fierstein blasted DeWalt’s revisionist history.
“Sadly, this type of lazy reasoning and hollow grandstanding can get you a column in The Atlantic or The New York Times,” said Fierstein. “So perhaps this centrist historian is just a worthless sellout and not truly the kind of milquetoast moderate who truly believes the mealy-mouthed bullshit he espouses. But whether it’s in a reexamination of Nazi thugs carrying out a genocide or in contemporary commentary on ICE goons violating people’s constitutional rights and murdering protestors, self-proclaimed ‘enlightened centrists’ always make fools of themselves by fetishizing an eagerness to compromise even when doing so makes them complicit in crimes against humanity.”
At press time, the centrist historian was booked to share his perspective on the podcasts of Steve Bannon and Gavin Newsom.
