BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local Korn fan Floyd Brennan recently admitted that the band hit its peak approximately 50 seconds into the song “Blind,” confirmed sources…
Five Ancient Otherworldly Entities We Accidentally Summoned While Learning the Scat-Singing Part of “Freak on a Leash”
After years of denial, we at The Hard Times finally opened up and were honest with ourselves about our proclivity for nu-metal. As such, we…
JNCO Warns US Strategic Denim Reserve Could Be Depleted If Nu Metal Revival Intensifies
LOS ANGELES — Garment company JNCO says renewed interest in their extra-wide legged jeans could result in a devastating shortage of denim, wallet-chain wearing sources…
Nu Metal Dad Excited for Sweatshirt and Jorts Season
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local nu metal enthusiast, and father of four, David Trilling admitted Autumn is his favorite season so he can wear his…
Our Next President Needs To Bring Back Family Values, By Which I Mean Korn’s Semi-Annual Family Values Tour
Let’s face it. This country has changed and not for the better. Inflation, never-ending wars, global warming, and overall lack of decency. We all know…
Nu Metal Dad Sits Teenage Son Down to Have the “Nookie Talk”
INDIANAPOLIS — Nu metal superfan Travis Cornwall reportedly sat his son down to have the “Nookie Talk” after the teenager started asking about the “birdz…
Top 50 Nu Metal Songs for When You’re Mad at Your Parents
Let’s get this straight right off the bat: Nu Metal fucking rules. Also, it’s “Nu” and not “n” followed by the motley crue letter. And…
Every Korn Album Ranked
It’s hard to say a bad word about Korn when, without them, nu metal as we know it may never have existed. However, 30 years…
Nu Metal Dad Has the “A.D.I.D.A.S.” Talk with His Kids
INDIANAPOLIS — Nu metal enthusiast and father of two Brian Michaels finally sat down to have the “A.D.I.D.A.S.” talk with his kids, JNCO-clad sources confirmed.…
DUBUQUE, Iowa — Bassist Lefty García of the nu metal band Soild became entangled in his dangerously detuned strings at a recent gig, according to…
How To Pick Which Track Goes First on Your Album When None of Them Start With “AARRRREE YOOUU REAAADYYY?!”
It feels amazing to finally have all the songs recorded for your new record. But that elation can be quickly deflated when you realize you…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Two of nu metal’s most respected acts, System of a Down and Deftones, announced a co-headlining tour under the moniker “Nu Metal…
Nu Metal Fan Proudly Showing Friends Every Time He Can Be Seen In Woodstock ‘99 Documentary
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local Nu Metal enthusiast Clark Cannon is forcing anyone in his life with a Netflix account to pull up the documentary “Trainwreck:…
If Metallica Is Good Enough To Perform With a Symphony So Is Korn
When I first heard Metallica was doing another album with the world-famous San Francisco Symphony a few years ago, I was like, “Symphonies are for…
VANCOUVER — Nu-metal fan and dedicated JNCO jeans wearer Chad Willis was the only surviving passenger of a plane crash that left 85 dead after…