PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — Local vegan Jay Ortega openly wondered yesterday what the fuck he ever did to everybody after being ridiculed by an employee at…
Recently, the Hard Times sat down, on a concrete staircase, with one of the most influential voices in the history of crust punk, Stoop Kid,…
AUSTIN, Texas — Former Democratic Presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke announced in a press conference today that he’ll use the remainder of his campaign funds to…
BALTIMORE — A new study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed that the mysterious glow many women experience during their early months of…
In the 1890’s, Ivan Pavlov discovered that he could cause dogs to salivate at his command by associating food with the ringing of a bell.…
DAYTON, Ohio — Local car enthusiast Daniel Wagner learned yesterday that his customized 1998 Honda Civic is not yet “classic” enough to earn him respect…
POMONA, Calif. — Trick-or-treaters visiting the haunted junkyard behind Old Man Clemens’ house were rewarded with rusted harmonicas handed out by rascal king Tom Waits,…
Halloween is right around the corner and you want to stand out. Every year we see the same old costumes- a generic horror movie monster,…
BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include a “one night in a…
SYDNEY, Australia — Developers behind the popular mid-2000s peer-to-peer sharing platform Kazaa announced today that files labeled “Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” will headline the inaugural Kazaalapalooza later this…
There’s no denying it, fall is in the air. The leaves are changing. Kids across the country are counting the days till Halloween. And somewhere,…
AUSTIN, Texas — Pop-punk quartet Shapes and Sizes is enjoying their most fiscally stable tour yet, splitting expenses amongst the members’ parents evenly in an…