SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Heavy metal fan and the lone adult female in the local metal scene, Kara Morgan, unintentionally became a maternal figure to nearly everyone in the community, anonymous sources close to the story report.
“[Morgan] is great. It’s like having a guardian angel who wears black leather and spiked gauntlets. We have become very protective of her,” remarked heavy metal fan Malcolm Hanson, wiping away a tear from his running corpse paint. “Kara’s always there to offer sage advice, lend an ear, or remind us to wear earplugs at concerts. It is really hard to show emotion around most of these guys, so it is nice to have her around. She’s the only one who remembers everyone’s birthdays and brings homemade cookies to band rehearsals. Plus, she always reminds everyone to drink water between each beer, which is essential for limiting hangovers.”
Morgan, however, remained blissfully unaware of her nurturing role within the metal scene.
“I just love the music and the community. At first, I wanted to make sure that the few girls that were around were treated nicely and taken care of. Soon, my house became like a haven for everyone,” Morgan explained after teaching a class in first-aid for pit injuries. “I had these big, bearded guys showing up wanting to learn how to cook something other than chili mac, or how to sew patches onto their jacket, or how to properly care for long hair. The thing is, I don’t really know how to do any of that shit either, but they blindly believe everything I say. Until I pick up a guitar, that’s when they all start giving me advice and tell me ‘I’m doing it wrong’ even though I’m way better than all of them. But I’m still happy to have them around, they will be embarrassed that I told you this but some just want to sit on the porch and talk shit they are going through over a few Jack & chamomile teas.”
Experts highlight the importance of nurturing figures like Morgan within tight-knit communities like the metal scene.
“Most of these people come from broken homes. They probably don’t even understand why they are gravitating towards her in the first place,” explained Dr. Emily Chang, a heavy metal sociologist. “The metal subculture is often associated with aggression and rebellion, having a maternal figure can provide a sense of stability and belonging. Kara’s presence demonstrates the multifaceted nature of identity and the power of nurturing relationships within unconventional social circles.”
As of press time, Morgan was reportedly preparing to drive a few members of the metal scene to their court hearings.