CHICAGO — Local woman Bethany Cordova has already spent her non-existent, second potential $1200 government stimulus check after hearing that more economic relief money may…
MIAMI — Protestors gathered for yesterday’s “All Lives Matter” rally quickly realized that they all already knew each other thanks to last year’s “Pro-Death Penalty”…
LOS ANGELES — As the promise of “six seasons and a movie” finally comes to fruition, producers of the upcoming “Community” feature film vowed today…
WARREN, Mich. — Ofc. Daniel Ronkowski was not allowed to participate in last night’s beatdown of a suspect after failing to pay his union dues…
Conventional wisdom says that your outer appearance should give off some serious upward mobility vibes. That’s why I dress as if I were in one…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary rock group Weezer celebrated today as their latest record finally completed months of successful laboratory tests on rats and is now…
CHICAGO — Local advertising firm Intuitive Front promoted Sean Graham, their only African-American employee, to the newly created “Chief Diversity Officer” position today without his…
Our deepest, most sincere apologies to the family and friends of 1918 flu survivor Mortimer Pyle. We recently sat down with Mr. Pyle to discuss…
HOUSTON — A dog serving with the Houston Police Department issued a statement today responding to allegations of racism in his department, claiming that he…
NEW YORK — Legendary television producer Lorne Michaels conceded last week that it was a mistake to have the highly infectious novel coronavirus host “Saturday…
LOS ANGELES — The second coming of Jesus was cut short this past Wednesday when LAPD Ofc. Thomas Andrews opened fire on the son of…
As a consumer, I know that I have more options than ever competing for my dollar. If you don’t meet my needs, it’s not hard…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Laid-off sound engineer Logan Green is constantly adjusting the volume levels of his television in order to keep busy while waiting…
WEST LAWN, Penn. — A generation-defining show at local basement venue The Bottleneck was briefly interrupted last night when venue/home owner Doug Stinson had to…
WASHINGTON — Worried about industry typecasting, representatives of local crisis actor Daniel Mauer say he is seeking a wider range of roles, hoping to finally…