WASHINGTON — Worried about industry typecasting, representatives of local crisis actor Daniel Mauer say he is seeking a wider range of roles, hoping to finally…
NEW YORK — The American Museum of Natural History’s cast bronze and allegedly sentient Christopher Columbus statue was the victim of a mercy killing last…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local middle-aged skateboarder Eddy Tirado impulsively flipped off the security guard standing by the front door of the Chase bank he was…
NEW YORK — Ofc. Peter McKenzie of the NYPD underwent a controversial and dangerous surgery last week to alleviate stress on his abdomen during his…
SEATTLE — White guy Joey Kipling started a two week break from consuming any news late last week, citing discomfort, confusion, and depression as reasons…
Music journalism is an immersive endeavor. In order to keep up with what’s happening we at The Hard Times go to shows constantly. This rock-solid…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in amber, sources sick of hearing…
GARLAND, Texas — Local woman Kristen Tate practices safe sex by taking her birth control at the exact same time once every few days if…
As the old adage goes, ACAB: All Cop movies Are Bad Yeah, I said it. If we ever want to have another Police Academy movie,…
NEW YORK — Local white woman Rebecca Shulz went viral today after calling The Police a better band than The Beatles in what witnesses described…
Between the emotional eating and the prolonged periods of immobility, a lengthy depressive episode is a fast track to weight gain. Fortunately, I discovered an…
Hey, Hometown Crush Who Peaked in High School Here, Just Sliding Into Your DMs to Say “Not All Cops”
Yesterday, 1:26pm Hey, remember me lol it’s been a while! Yesterday, 1:29pm Thought about you the other day when I ran a stop sign on…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook purged thousands of user accounts belonging to members of right-wing hate groups last week, but also inadvertently scrubbed user information…