DENVER — An unlikely alliance formed between a conservative uncle and socialist niece thanks to their shared distaste for the Democratic party during a recent…
For most Americans, including myself, this Winter was pretty freaking bleak. Between the short, cold days, the surging pandemic, and a lack of stable employment,…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Diehard Mars Volta fan and Central N.Y.’s third most active LSD synthesizer Nicky Saldano is convinced he can sell enough acid to…
LOS ANGELES — Former precocious one-year-old and current convicted felon on parole Tommy Pickles, now 31, allegedly muttered to himself “a baby’s gotta do what…
AMES, Iowa — Somewhat recently vaccinated woman Teresa Faison entered her third week of using the potential side effects of the Pfizer inoculation to avoid…
Move over, Geraldo Rivera! We uncovered the All-American Rejects’ dirty little secret. That’s right. We finally got to the bottom of the inspiration behind the…
CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan made some coffee before launching into yet another day of writing 5-star reviews of his own works on…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local failure Max Kugler was reportedly sighted practicing his ollies at the Haledon Skate Park on Saturday night in a last-ditch…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local punk and 31-year-old adult man Kenny Whalen remains blissfully unaware that he is the Whalen family’s cautionary tale, concerned sources confirmed.…
I can’t help but laugh at how hypocritical this country is. Everywhere I turn I see people saluting Aron Ralston as a hero, just because…
DALLAS — Local sleep paralysis demon and archetypical projection of humanity’s deepest fears, Edgar, was frightened away from a routine haunting after spotting a Buckcherry…