Each year, one holiday brings everybody back to their hometown as families gather to eat, drink, and hide their resentment towards one another through phony…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — News that you will not be attending Thanksgiving dinner this year over ongoing concerns surrounding the coronavirus pandemic caused your elderly…
It’s been said that hunger is the greatest spice, and while that may be true, we believe that authenticity is at least a close second.…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Twice divorced Uncle Mike Dilmer became outraged beyond comprehension due to the mere existence of Tofurky at his extended family’s Thanksgiving celebration,…
WEST HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Nick Gransby is doing surprisingly well for himself with a loving family and fulfilling career, despite having never left…
Tis’ the season! The season for structured corporate fun, that is. Do you have to plan an office holiday shindig but you’re sick of the…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Local woman Brittany Mullins instructed her punk boyfriend Miles Blanchard not to mention his job, band, car, hobbies, drinking habit, religious…
Tragedy struck a local family when a husband and father of three selfishly decided to go out for a pack of cigarettes and return 20…
We lost our star wide receiver Brandon Little in a terrible accident earlier this month, and the team was in a bad place. We had…
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — Legendary rock band Weezer surprised audiences at this past weekend’s Ugly Sweater Festival when their set consisted entirely of ironic versions…
HURSTBOURNE, Ky — Local technophile Dean Espinosa made yet another fucking pencil holder after needlessly blowing $10,000 on a 3D printer, frustrated familial sources confirmed.…