In life, you really have to plan for your future. That’s why we have to consider what it will look like when we are still listening to the same post-hardcore songs from the 2000s in our nursing homes in a few decades that will only seem like years because that’s just how time works now. We may even be dead by then, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves or start thinking in hypotheticals. We as a post-hardcore society are still in the 2000s as demonstrated by this list of the top tracks from that genre and decade. (Listen to the full playlist, click here)

50. Beloved “Failure On My Lips” (2003)

Beloved probably should’ve been bigger than they were in the scene. This will for sure carry over into senior living age because no one at the nursing home will have any idea who the hell you’re talking about. Things never change. Except for your physical age.

49. The Blood Brothers “Set Fire to the Face on Fire” (2006)

The Blood Brothers deployed two singers at once, both of which seem to scream frantically and with an urgency that sounds like they’re engulfed in flames. That is not relatable to typical octogenarians.

48. Aiden “I Set My Friends on Fire” (2004)

When you get older, you must prepare yourself for the idea that everyone around you will begin dying off one by one, and it might make you wonder what this whole thing was all about anyway. Well, it was about Aiden. More specifically, post-hardcore. Nothing more.

47. The Beautiful Mistake “Circular Parade” (2003)

The first 45 seconds of this song are actually pretty soothing to the ears. Unfortunately, it’ll be too low for old people to hear, so your nursing home mates will only focus on all the yelling that comes after. That’s a shame. Almost had a genuine connection with another human being.

46. As Cities Burn “Bloodsucker Pt. II” (2005)

As Cities Burn is a band of faith, as you can probably tell from all that screaming. At some point, every old person appears to become religious. Hopefully listening to this band is just as effective as going to church in order to get into heaven. If not, see you in Hell.

45. Fear Before the March of Flames “The 20th Century Was Entirely Mine” (2003)

We’re only a few songs in the list and there are already four or five references to fire, flames, and burning. One can only conclude that post-hardcore is filled with a bunch of pyromaniacs. At least that’s what the staff at your future assisted living situation will think.

44. Dead Poetic “The Dreamclub Murders” (2003)

The old folks in the nursing homes of today all went to war, raised seven children with minimal effort, and owned three homes by accident. The most responsibility you had in your prime was making sure the Dead Poetic track you downloaded from Limewire was the actual song it says it was, and not “Mambo No. 5” instead.

43. AFI “The Leaving Song Pt. II” (2003)

AFI is one of the more well-known bands on this list. Heck, even some of the normies have heard of them, which means you might have some luck if you want to make friends over the age of 75. Probably not though.

42. Drop Dead, Gorgeous “Dressed For Friend Requests” (2006) 

Telling all of your acquaintances at your future nursing home that you listen to a band called Drop Dead, Gorgeous will only freak everyone out, especially since we’ll be minutes away from dropping dead together as a facility.

41. Sparta “Cut Your Ribbon” (2002)

In your future nursing home, you’ll get three meals a day, medically related services, planned social activities, and more importantly, free reign to listen to a band known for being the other At the Drive-In spinoff. Your bones gradually deteriorating into a fine powder doesn’t sound so bad after all.

40. Story of the Year “Until the Day I Die” (2003) 

This song is called “Until the Day I Die” and the chorus keeps repeating that line, which will not go over well among your fellow assisted living brethren. Unfortunately, death-based songs hit differently in your 80s.

39. A Skylit Drive “I’m Not a Thief, I’m a Treasure Hunter” (2008)

There comes a time in every person’s life when their favorite band will be lumped into the classic rock umbrella. A Skylit Drive might even one day come on the classic rock station that plays the hits of the ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s, 2000s, 2010s, 2020s, 2030s, and 2040s.

38. Pierce the Veil “The Cheap Bouquet” (2006)

There are a subset of people who don’t like PTV and they’ll seemingly all be working at the senior living facility and telling you to playing anything else. Unfortunately, this is just not in the cards because you don’t know how to operate a new piece of technology since you haven’t learned anything new in decades.

37. Touché Amoré “Honest Sleep” (2009)

Approximately 150,000 people die every day globally, which means that could one day be you. Or your mom. Or all your friends you used to listen to Touché Amoré with. Why must life do this to post-hardcore fans?

36. Emery “Walls” (2004)

They say that when you’re on your deathbed, you’ll be looking back on your life and all the things you regret. Good thing you listened to Emery and other post-hardcore bands in 2004, so you regret nothing. That is how to die in peace.

35. Snapcase “Skeptic” (2003)

So you’ve made it to the ripe old age of 85. The best you can hope for is that somebody, anybody, wants to sit in a room with you and listen to Snapcase. But don’t get your hopes up. No one does. They just want you to die so they can receive their inheritance of 37 bucks (adjusted for mega inflation).

34. Bear vs. Shark “Catamaran” (2005)

Putting on any Bear vs. Shark track in your future nursing home will surely confuse the staff as their only frame of reference for music at this time will be a 60-year-old Taylor Swift. Can’t believe they still listen to the same music.

33. The Bled “You Know Who’s Seatbelt” (2007)

Sure, you’ll be the only one in the nursing home cafeteria dangling your carabiner keychain from your belt loop and you’ll be the only person within a 50-mile radius who listens to the Bled, but that just means you’ll be mistaken for the on-premises janitor. There are worse fates.

32. La Dispute “Future Wars” (2006)

La Dispute will almost certainly frighten the staff at your nursing home. They’ll tell you to turn it down or else you won’t get fruit cup for dessert. You’ve come too far in life to have to choose between post-hardcore and citrus.

31. mewithoutYou “Gentleman” (2002)

The singer of mwY tends to over-enunciate so you can decipher every single lyric clearly, which is actually perfect for when you’re old and can’t hear anything anymore. This band is always thinking ahead for you.

30. Cursive “Some Red-Handed Sleight of Hand” (2003)

Post-hardcore is not easily definable, but it’s kind of like a mix of hardcore punk and whatever Cursive is doing on this album. Good thing you’ll never be asked to define it at your future nursing home because no one gives a crap about old peoples’ thoughts. Not even other old people.

29. The Used “A Box Full of Sharp Objects” (2002)

The Used was oftentimes lumped into the screamo bracket despite this album being produced by the singer of Goldfinger. That makes the Used a ska band by proxy. But also post-hardcore. And screamo. This band is confusing.

28. From Autumn to Ashes “Daylight Slaving” (2007)

FATA needs to take a good hard look in the mirror because they haven’t released an album since 2007 with this one. If they aren’t careful, they’ll never write one again, leaving future 80 year olds with a lack of music to listen to. Think of the seniors, guys.

27. Circa Survive “Act Appalled” (2005)

Let’s see, your nursing home has a book club, craft night, and a painting class on Wednesdays. No events about post-hardcore or even Anthony Green-related bands. This can’t be how your life ends.

26. A Static Lullaby “The Art of Sharing Lovers” (2006)

When you are old, decrepit, and must rely on others to get by, that’s when your family will abandon you and shove you into a nursing home in hopes you’ll just figure it out. A Static Lullaby will now be your only family.