Charles Bill
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April 25, 2026
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Leading musical anthropologists announced that they have discovered a previously uncontacted metal genre, confirmed sources. “I was…
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Cam Berkowitz
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April 21, 2026
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A new study from California State University, Bakersfield found that aggressively and methodically punching the air within…
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Kevin Coutu
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April 12, 2026
BERKELEY, Calif. — Researchers at UC Berkeley announced they had built the first sex robot with the capacity to feel…
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RJ Atkinson
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March 9, 2026
EVANSTON, Ill. — A recent study out of Northwestern University confirmed that Free Throw’s iconic midwest emo anthem “Two Beers…
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Steve Packosky
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March 4, 2026
STANFORD, Calif. — A psychological study at Stanford University found that 85% of participants would willingly drink kerosene if the…
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Reuben Blanchard
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August 3, 2025
NEW YORK — A new study from Columbia University revealed that millennials are still recovering from the trauma caused by…
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Mike Moran
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June 24, 2025
FLOYD KNOBS, Ind. — A new independent study revealed that basically anything you think happened around 2022, was probably closer…
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Ryan Dondero
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May 30, 2025
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A new study from the University of Michigan revealed that you can basically just walk out…
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First of all, I want to say, I’m impressed. Usually when I tell people “Do your own research” that’s the…
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They say that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but I have another platitude to add to the mix: “no read…
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