dare Archives - The Hard Times

Shitfaced Beto O’Rourke Wonders if You Dare Him to Jump off Parent’s Balcony Into Pool

Shitfaced Beto O’Rourke Wonders if You Dare Him to Jump off Parent’s Balcony Into Pool

By Krissy Howard

SANTA FE, N.M. — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke reportedly one-upped his countertop-hopping antics last night, crashing a high-school house party and asking if anyone…

I Wouldn’t Suck a Dick for a Million Dollars or a Chance at Being Happy

I Wouldn’t Suck a Dick for a Million Dollars or a Chance at Being Happy

By Jeremy Kaplowitz

Yo dude, let’s play a game: how much money would it take for you to suck another man’s dick? $100? $1,000?? $1,000,000?! The once-in-a-lifetime chance…

Hey: How Much Would You Give Me If I Used This Staple Gun on My Leg?

Hey: How Much Would You Give Me If I Used This Staple Gun on My Leg?

By Dan Kozuh

What do you mean nothing?! I’m serious, I will totally drive, hey … hey … HEY! How much would you give me if I used…

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Episode 7: Contributor/Musician Jordan Breeding

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with Hard Times contributor and senior writer at Cracked.Com, Jordan […]
Goth’s Not Dead

This week on Fanboys, the guys rush to the defense of a beleaguered Bruce Springsteen, reluctantly crown a second Hall […]
Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa…?

Today’s episode makes a whole bunch of no sense. Mario and Luigi go fishing, even though they have plans to go to […]
The Hard Times Podcast w/ Walter Delgado

Matt and Bill are joined by Rotting Out’s Walter Delgado to talk about prison and weight training. You know, […]
Episode 6: Hawaii Punk with Kevin Tit

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with stand up comedian and musician Kevin Tit. From Hawaii, to Germany, to […]

Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
By Nick Ortolani on June 30, 2019
Like, seriously. I’m asking honestly, do you all hate me? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid but I sometimes feel like you’re all talking behind my back or...
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
By John Danek on June 26, 2019
I can't believe we're finally heading to Ozzfest! We've been talking about this for years and it's finally happening. Where else can you find the taint-shaking talents of Rob Zombie,...
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
By Krissy Howard on June 23, 2019
Hey you. It’s me. I need to ask you something and I hope you’ll be honest with me. I know you’ve been hurt before by people who are quick to...
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
By John Danek on May 21, 2019
Virtuoso. Iconoclast. Visionary. Ska pioneer. These are just some of the terms used to describe legendary jazz/ska trumpeter Miles Davis. He never once confined himself to the boundaries of genre...